I left Brazil for California with $1,200 cash on me, not able to speak a word of English, with a heart full of hope and my mind filled with fearless determination.
July 27th, 1984 marked a significant moment in my life. Geraldine Ferraro was breaking ground for women by running for Vice President, the Olympic Games were going on in full gear and I was entering America “The Beautiful”, a place that, up until that point, I only knew through Hollywood movies. I left Brazil for California with $1,200 cash on me, not able to speak a word of English, with a heart full of hope and my mind filled with fearless determination.
But July 27th is not where my story starts. At 18, I got pregnant by my very first boyfriend in Brazil, got married and moved away from my family. My new home was a little, rented wooden house, which later on the owner turned into a chicken coop.
Verbal abuse at the hands of my new husband was soon followed by physical abuse and, for three long years, I endured a miserable existence, terrified by my husband’s drinking, his infidelity and his anger. Unfortunately, Brazilian culture empowers men by giving them total control of the family, allowing them to cheat and beat and feel proud of it, while women are forced to be submissive and ready to please.
Regardless of what culture dictated, regardless of my imposed “role” in my young family, I was not a submissive woman. Unable to take the abuse anymore, I faced my husband and asked for a divorce. After a few months, he agreed to it.
With the divorce papers in hand, savoring the taste of freedom, I sold all my belongings, grabbed my kid and moved far away from his rage, as far away as I felt I could go; I moved to California. The joy of running from him overcame the incredible pain of leaving my country, my family and my friends behind. Of course, I often felt alone, tired and scared, but at the same time, I felt powerful beyond belief.
Those who have suffered at the hands of abuse – physically, emotionally, psychologically – at home or at work, know that there is one simple and difficult-to-remember factor that draws us out of adverse situations. This is the realization that we are worthy human beings and we deserve better. I was ready to take over my own life. I was prepared to face any obstacle. Above all, I was happy to finally be at peace with myself and proud of my ability to self-care.
As a survivor, I see living as a privilege and feel life should always be lived at its fullest. For a couple of years after arriving in the States, I did whatever I needed to do to support myself and my young son. I worked as a housekeeper, a babysitter, a cook and a gardener. I was anything I needed to be in order to provide a safe environment for my son. Then, in 1985, I met my future husband, got married in 1988 and, after having two more boys, decided it was time to go out and try something new for myself. I decided to start my own business.
I am a people person by nature and, by the end of the 80s, the spa industry was just beginning to be formed. As a newbie to the small business community, I figured I should play to my strengths and make a living developing relationships and bringing the best out of others, which was something I knew I could do exceptionally well.
Still, my true “A-ha!” moment came while I was attending beauty school. After watching a “How to Body Wax” tape in class, I offered to show my peers an alternative technique. The video reconnected me to my years in Brazil, where I exchanged waxings with my sisters and friends and where, unbeknownst to me, I developed my own waxing style. Intrigued, the teacher agreed to the demonstration. Afterwards, she promptly threw the old VHS tape away and from then on I was her Teacher’s Assistant during waxing classes. Today, several years later, I also work as the Waxing Professor at that same beauty school.
After getting my esthetician’s license, I opened my own studio and, within a year, waxing outnumbered all the other skin care services I offered. I had become “Reny, the Brazilian Bikini Waxer” - a title given to me when my friends and clients realized how ecstatic I was to perform 10-15 waxings in a day. It was also an appropriate title because, long before celebrities started to rave about the Brazilian Bikini Wax (BBW), I had already introduced it to my clients who, little by little, were losing their inhibitions and enjoying the smooth feeling in their private areas.
My clients came in droves - the young, the seasoned, women, men, straight and gay. And, they kept coming back. They referred friends and family and acquaintances, divulging how relaxed they felt under my care, a personal character trait I attribute to my Brazilian culture where we learn how to appreciate and feel at ease with our own bodies.
For those who have not experienced it, the BBW is far more than simply removing hair from one’s private area by the roots. In my studio I consistently witness the transformation in each client when, following their wax, they admire themselves in the mirror, smiling and surprised that this self-care procedure could have such a positively altering effect on their self-confidence. Some are so energized that they completely change their attitude towards their bodies and shed a few pounds, and in others cases they nurture and improve their relationships. Finally, the BBW boosts the “sex-esteem” of many and provides for a healthier sex life even during the golden or “dormant” years of my older clients.
Consequently, in my own transformation and career I have come to see waxing as an interpersonal mirror. Once waxed, my clients see a reflection of someone who is beautiful and worthy. So many see a side of themselves they either did not know existed or were afraid to embrace. In all cases, they agree that this fast and simple procedure is empowering, liberating and, in many situations, therapeutic.
Today, I wax an average of 1,500 clients a year and I love every minute of it. A few years ago, several of my clients suggested I start compiling some of the scandalous and hilarious events that take place on the waxing table, when they are naked and in compromising positions. I resisted for a while but finally agreed, and last year Confessions of a Brazilian Bikini Waxer was born.
Confessions talks about shy first visits, husbands who insist Brazilian Bikini Waxes stay at the top of their wives budgets even in a down economy and about how this one-time luxury for only the rich and famous has now become a regular activity for women and men everywhere. But mostly it’s a book about celebrating ourselves.
Sometimes while I am at work waxing, I think back on my days in Brazil with my sisters when we laughed at the waxing messes we created, I reflect on the struggles with my first husband and the super-human energy it took me to leave, restart my life and celebrate myself. Then I watch my clients jump off the waxing table and celebrate themselves. I am deeply thankful that the bumpy road that was my early life brought me to this place where I can contribute to making someone else’s life a positive one and participate in helping them realize their full self-worth, much as I did for myself.
Today, a quarter of a century after I first arrived in the U.S., safe, happy and blessed, I look back on my audacious move, and think, “Caramba girl, you’ve come a long way!” And I feel complete.