Your comments, support, and enthusiasm for my posting, I Ditched My Plum Job to Write a Novel, were inspiring and motivating. What great suggestions for moving my reinvention in Costa Rica forward! I especially loved all the ideas for generating income from my writing in this new social media world. I’ve been busy putting those ideas to work and I’ll talk about them in a moment, but first I want to address your question about how exactly does a woman chuck her job, move to Costa Rica to write a novel, and survive?
We all know how to chuck our jobs. We do it the same way we end painful marriages or relationships. We wake up one day and say: “I’m not doing this anymore.”
But then comes the hard part: building a new life — and the responsibility falls on you alone. You close your eyes, and lingering under the surface of your fears, are your dreams. You know them well. They are all those desires you have pushed back for years. Some are so strong you cannot even verbalize them.
The idea of moving to Costa Rica to write a novel first bubbled to the surface eight years ago when I was living alone in Atlanta. I had moved there to recover from a painful break-up and to start a new job, as the relationship had been also financially draining. The job as event producer ended a year later when the company folded. I quickly took another position with a dot.com company, but found it even more unfulfilling. Bored and frustrated, I wondered, is this really what I’m supposed to be doing with my life? Around this time, I took a quick get-away trip to Belize with a girlfriend. I remember driving through the villages on dirt roads towards our jungle retreat and thinking how great it would be to escape with my dog and hole-up in one of the little blue shacks along the water, and write. The image stuck.
Fast-forward eight years – now executive producer in New York City, but still single, (ouch!) in the worst place in the world for a single woman in her forties. I had all but given up on finding a life partner. The problem was not meeting a man, but keeping him. Most were just too unavailable and focused on their careers for a long-term relationship. Besides, there were just too many fascinating women in New York City. Numbed by the pressures of my job and acute loneliness (and not burdened with any mortgaged real estate), I began seriously researching how to maneuver a permanent move to Costa Rica, alone.
The important thing to remember when making a life change, such as moving to a new country and starting a new career, is that you have everything you need to succeed, right here, right now.
I know some of you are rolling your eyes and making mental lists of all the things you don’t have: enough money, a supportive partner, security, courage. But don’t focus on what you don’t have; critically examine what you do.
You have skills, experience, relationships, possibly some assets, probably some debt, and definitely more expenses than you should. Start with the obvious: scale everything back. Do you really need that big, beautiful house or expensive rental apartment? If your home is a smart investment or if you can’t sell it, rent it out. If you live in a cool place, consider swapping residences temporarily with someone in your country of choice. Or keep your home, and house- or pet-sit in your destination country for free or at a reduced rent until you figure out a more permanent situation. The Internet is the obvious place to look for all these opportunities. Sell you stuff on Craigslist, have a garage sale, and donate anything you do not really love and need. Then take another critical look at all your expenses, and slash, slash, slash.
I’m not suggesting a move of this kind is for everyone. Obviously, if you are heavy in debt, have substantial family obligations, or a partner who does not share your dreams, you are probably better off just taking a vacation — or better, paying off your bills. But if you are struggling to justify the purpose of your life, consider seriously re-evaluating your choices and assess if a major life move is for you.
The first thing to determine is how comfortable you are with risk. How big of an emotional and financial hit are you willing to take? Know you WILL take one, and you may not recover. Of course you’ll have setbacks, challenges, sacrifices, and even some failures. But that’s how we learn. What about your network of family and friends? Sure, you can Skype them everyday, but can you live without their actual physical presence? Can you be alone? What about personal safety? Do you have faith in your ability to make wise choices and keep yourself safe?
It all comes down to trusting yourself. If you believe you can figure things out and make them happen, then chances are you will. The trick is to allow enough time to let life unfold and opportunities to present themselves. Although it does take an initial leap of faith, you have to let the process evolve, and often things unfold in a completely different way than you had originally planned.
When I finally did move to Costa Rica last year, surprisingly, I was not alone. I moved with Stephen, a man I met while standing in line at Staples — to my point that we have everything we need, right here, right now, right in front of us, (or in this case, standing right behind!). We just have to be open to the possibility and let things evolve.
It was months into our relationship before I discovered that Stephen had been coming down to Costa Rica for almost fifteen years. He loved the ruggedness of the country and the fact that here, he could be left alone. He had even bought a small piece of property years back as an investment, and I was disappointed to learn that he had sold it — so much for my secret fantasy of moving here with him someday.
Meanwhile, my job frustration in New York continued, as did my desire to write. Although I still worked grueling hours producing drug launches for the pharmaceutical industry, I began crafting short stories at night. Stephen had his own challenges. He had launched a hedge fund right in the midst of the growing financial uncertainty. It was taking everything he had, both financially and personally, to keep it afloat. Our lives were in turmoil, and we were both coming to our own individual breaking points.
Then came the argument, a knockdown, drag-out confrontation instigated by me because I was unhappy with my own life and blaming our relationship. “That’s it!” I told him. “I quitting my job, moving to Costa Rica with my dog, and writing that book!” Stephen, the practical one and the only one between us with any real knowledge of Costa Rica, tried to make me see the absurdity of my thinking. He couldn’t understand how I could consider moving to another country with no other plan than that I would figure it out once I got there. He had not known me during my former moves to Switzerland, Italy, France, Jerusalem, Atlanta, Boston, and New York. I had started over many times, always for different reasons, always with different outcomes. But all my moves had one thing in common: I figured it out when I got there.
Stephen and I did not split up after that fight. Instead, we made a commitment to build our relationship. We moved in together and six months later, we made a big life change and left the city for a small farmhouse in Connecticut. We wanted to see if we liked living away from the city. Although we still commuted several times a week, we also worked from home. As this became more and more frequent, especially for Stephen, he soon discovered that he did not need or want New York City at all.
Then one day, independent of what Stephen was doing in his life, I woke up and said: “I’m not doing this anymore.” I had produced my last pharmaceutical drug launch. I was going to live on my savings and pursue my passion for writing. I began taking writing workshops, hired a coach, and wrote daily. If I wanted to be a writer, I had to write, everyday, like a job. Waiting to do so in some romantic setting like Costa Rica was just dribble, my coach advised.
But romantic fantasies, at least in my life, have always come true when I gave them the time they needed to thrive.
Coincidentally at this time, Stephen’s father decided to build a retirement home in Costa Rica. He had previously taken several trips with his son and had been attracted to the natural beauty and simplicity of the Nosara area. He built a beautiful house on a cliff overlooking the Pacific, but after living there a short while decided the area was too remote for him. He was going to sell, and at a good price. Stephen and I came for a visit, and with a little encouragement from me, Stephen bought the investment property and we moved here together.
Although ultimately I didn’t move to Costa Rica by myself, the point is I could have. It might have been lonelier and more risky, but I know I would have figured things out and eventually built a life for myself. I have since met several women who have done so, swapping their corporate jobs to become a real-estate agent, a published writer, and an ice-cream shop owner respectively. Another woman I know, single and sixty-five, comes here every year during rainy season and pet-sits for free in our neighbor’s beautiful home.
Obviously, moving to a foreign country with a man who has a steady job is not as risky as moving alone with no job and little savings. Even if you live independent financial lives as we do, it is still comforting to know that you can fall back on your partner in a pinch. But what do you do when your partner wakes up and announces, he too can’t take it anymore?
Fortunately for me, it was not our relationship Stephen decided to ditch, but his own plum job managing money on Wall Street. The industry had changed for the worse and he didn’t see it getting any better. So instead of continuing the daily battle with the markets, he decided to embrace change for himself.
Now we had two reinventions in progress, a folie à deux (our own madness shared by two), with neither of us generating income. Do we pack it up and hightail it back to New York and start begging for jobs? No, we focus on what we have right here, right now, and we create a new vision.
Since writing my first More.com article, I Ditched my Plum Job to Write a Novel, I took readers’ advice and actively began finding new avenues to generate income from my writing. My first goal was to build a portfolio of published articles, so that when I did apply for writing jobs, I would have something to show. I reached out to the U.K. travel site, The Travel Editor, and asked it they might need a correspondent on the ground in Costa Rica. They asked to see a recent writing sample. Fortunately, I had my More.com link. They invited me to join their team. The Travel Editor is a user-generated content site of published travel writers where writers are paid based on number of Internet reader hits. It is obviously more lucrative for writers who already have a lot of stories ready to publish. But my goal was to get a portfolio together, and this I succeeded in. Any money I generate will be an added plus. You can see my travel articles on the Nosara area at: http://www.thetraveleditor.com/toplists/general/Costa_Rica/374/. And thanks to your suggestions, they can also be found on the social networking and bookmarking sites: StumbleUpon, Buzz, Digg, Delicious, Reddit, Mixx and Twitter. I even have a small fan club of people I have never met!
Also, as I speak Italian and had worked as a translator twenty years ago, I began applying for translation jobs that I could do from home using my computer. I joined a website that lets you bid on translation projects. But after six months, I still had not received a project. I assumed it was because I didn’t have work samples. Finally, someone gave me a chance, and I translated a DVD of a plainclothes nun walking around Rome talking about Holy sites. It was fun! But even better, my first paycheck in almost a year is now on its way. I’m confident new business will follow.
As for my partner’s reinvention, about a month ago Stephen walked out our gate, down the dirt road, and to our neighbor’s house for a cold cerveza. The two men are now business partners selling an innovative product used in law enforcement and the military — a fortuitous circumstance and an example of how opportunities arise all around us in our everyday social encounters, if we only remain open.
For any reinvention, just remember that it is a work in progress and it takes time. Trust yourself. Trust that time will bring opportunity. Trust that you have everything you need, right here, right now.
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