Secrets of Experienced Huggers

SalGal: I have survived many of her hugs but only because I held my breath and stiffened my back in preparation.  Only once did I get a collapsed lung, and she apologized profusely and bought me a martini and some oysters on the half-shell at our favorite hang-out.  I forgave her, but now when I see her coming I pretend that my arms are glued to my sides.  She actually gets that.  Texas woman.

KK: Then there is the 'man hug.' We’re talking about the emotionally-challenged man hug here. Some men hug with abandon, especially other men in their families or great men friends. We’re talking about the every-day, painful-slap-on-the-back hug that, while allowing for closeness, does not exclude their manliness. Both heads turn sideways, away from the other's head while they continue to slap the back of their fellow hugger, and they always slap so HARD. Why do they do this? It makes me worry for their safety.

SalGal: Men can’t do that in L.A. or people will think they are a Cryp or Blood and then shoot holes in their living room windows.  Either that or someone will invite them to a Rough Sex party at The Sunset Plaza Dingle-Dangle Club.

KK: Every now and then, Sal, I appreciate a good 'big-bosom hug.' This is a foreign conceptual hug for me because when I hug a man, for example, it's flat chest to flat chest with only our breast plates or possibly my strand of pearls separating our internal organs. I always feel loved when I get a 'big-bosom hug,' don't you, Sal? Not only does it cushion the embrace, but if the bosom is big enough, it kind of wraps around you like a hug inside a hug. It just makes me happy.

SalGal: Come here, little sister, cause I’m about to give you a big ole bosom hug to thank you for teaching me how to be a Texan again.  It grows on you.  I now hug everybody and am known for the ‘hug-from-the-top-and-don’t-touch-below-the-waist-ex-Holllywood-and-I’m-working-on-it’ hug.