We expect it, it is good for our health, we need it, we want it, we love it; so it comes as a surprise when, for one reason or another, we stop having it. The it is sex and the statistical reality is that more than 40% of couples at one time or another have a relationship that lacks sex. However statistics are cold comfort when it's you and your partner who are not having sex. It is very personal.
Pinpointing the reason for lack of sex is the major key to getting back a healthy sex life. Unfortunately too many people put the subject of sex aside hoping “things will straighten out on their own eventually.” They won’t.
So...what can you do to get back the sex part of your relationship?
You have to talk.
Admittedly the touchy subject of lack of sex is a difficult topic to broach to your partner no matter how long you've been together. But it is the first step to resolving the problem. Pick a time and a place where you will be alone and undisturbed. (Don't pick a time when you're both tired). Ask blunt questions; this is a need-to-know situation. Remember the best four letter word related to sex is T-A-L-K.
Don't play the blame-game.
This is a game where no one wins and both lose tremendously. Assigning blame for a non-existent sex life solves nothing and will only create more problems.
Get a complete physical check-up
Health problems, both physical and mental, (depression), can cause a drop in sex drive. Hormonal changes affect both men and women. Ask your doctor about tests to determine if you have a good balance of hormone levels. Women need to tell the doctor if sex is uncomfortable. There may be a physical reason for the discomfort that needs to be addressed. Men need to have their prostates checked as well. Remember if "something doesn't feel right" there is a real reason for it. Tell your doctor about all meds you are taking. Some can affect the normal sex drive.
