Linda Franklin, founder of therealcougarwoman.com, on the joys of cougar sex.
Since the beginning of time it has always been the man who was in control. He had the A-list career, he controlled the purse strings, he was in charge in the bedroom and he could have a dalliance with the younger woman. But now it’s our turn! Seasoned womanhood is becoming chic. And, honestly, isn’t that long overdue? Isn’t it great to hear you don’t have to pack up your sexuality when you hit 39—or 49, or even 69?
Who gets credit for putting this outdated double standard out to pasture? The cougar! That fabulous female over 40 who chooses to fully embrace her beauty and her brilliance no matter what age she—or her lover—happens to be.
I was lucky enough to have had an enlightening conversation with Susan Quilliam, a sexologist and the author of updated Joy of Sex. Susan says, “in the 36 years since the original Joy of Sex was published, suppositions have shifted completely. Now we know about hormones, pheromones and the importance of the clitoris.”
Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington and a relationship expert, revealed some of her secrets on Oprah. She said, “at 62 I am having the best sex of my life. I am divorced after being married for 20 years and am now expanding and exploring my sexual universe. During a lull in my dating schedule I make sure I call upon my friend with benefits.” (Hmm—that’s a great topic for another column.)
Sally, one of the women in my Real Cougar Woman Club, told me she at 52 she now considers herself a sexual diva. Sally had been married to Eric for 22 years and now their sex life was at a standstill. They were both bored and when they did make love it was more out of a sense of obligation than to have fun. Not willing to settle for ho-hum Sally did some research and convinced her hubby to enroll in a course on maximizing sexual pleasure. Apparently, it worked out just fine because now she is walking around with a perpetual smile on her face.
Real Cougars never underestimate their ability to experience the best sex ever. And, remember, the more you do it, the more you will want to do it. So, push hard against your comfort zone, ignore all your “don’ts” and enjoy the undeniable pleasures of the flesh. And if that pleasure happens to come at the hands of a much younger man, well, more power to you.
