Who better to answer your questions about love’s baffling ways.
A year ago, Dalma Heyn, a psychotherapist and the author of three bestselling books on love, marriage and sexuality (The Erotic Silence of The American Wife, Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives and Drama Kings: The Men Who Drive Strong Women Crazy) discovered her alter ego, the Love Goddess, a being who is committed to helping women create joyful, loving relationships--but always without compromising themselves. The Love Goddess now blogs in cyberspace, answering mortals’ questions about dating, sex, marriage and love affairs. Here, for the first time, Dalma Heyn talks about her reinvention as the Love Goddess, and gives MORE.com viewers a sampling—with more to come--of her avatar’s ancient wisdom.
Q: Welcome, Love Goddess! First, a question for your mortal oracle. What’s it like to reinvent yourself as a divinity?
Dalma Heyn: Omigoddess. Adding divine intuition and celestial understanding to my meager skills as a mere mortal hugely benefits the people I want to help! They want, more than ever, a higher level of love—and to uncover a deeper, truer part of themselves.
Q:Where did the idea come from?
Dalma Heyn: It was a fluke. I was writing a novel--the romance of two people in their 40s, complete with a goofy God of Love who of course intervenes on their behalf--and wanted a domain name to accommodate readers' letters. What came to me was: thelovegoddess.com. A perfect home for the work I've been doing for so many years. I love the persona of the Goddess, who isn’t limited to earthly protocol. For instance, she can ask and answer Freud's infamous question—What do women want? –without the fear that it's presumptuous (Freud insisted that women themselves don't know the answer). Women of course know what they want but have been discouraged from getting it. As the Love Goddess--who is eons older than Freud and way smarter about women—I don't have to be cautious or feel silly challenging him or any other earthly icon, which I would as Dalma Heyn.
Q: What was the first thing you noticed about over-40 love relationships when you came to Earth?
The Love Goddess: That women and men are deeply involved in making them work in ways their parents didn’t have access to: they’re becoming emotionally more sophisticated. I'm hearing from more women who are starting over, in new relationships, and feeling wonderful about shifting the kind of dynamic they had earlier in their lives with men. And I’m hearing more women, whether married or single, insisting that the men they're involved with develop intimacy skills; emotional skills guys never had to worry about before, when providing was their sole job. Over-40 lovers know what they want and know what it takes to get it.
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