Married ladies, when you vowed to love, honor and cherish, did you vow to be BFF’s? Did you promise to share all secrets, feelings and thoughts with the man you promised to share your life with? If you have BFF’s, like my VUVS (my name for my BFF’s), are you cheating on the one you said “I Do” to?
Seriously ladies, take my silent quiz. A silent quiz involves a question you answer only in your head and think long and hard before ever sharing your answer out loud. The silent quiz is a useful tool when the answer to a question is certain to get you in trouble, like asking a man, "Have you stopped beating your wife?" No right answer ... see what I mean?
Answer this: On whom do you rely more for “Emotional Maintenance”.....your Vuvs or your spouse?
Remember, zip it ... it's a silent quiz.
What? You have a question? You want me to better define “Emotional Maintenance” No problem.
Say your experiences and emotions on any given day are like the tracks on a roller coaster. There’s flat track, steep uphills, crazy downhills and loop-the-loops. On a ride through your average day, who do you rely on more to help keep you from “tossing your proverbial cookies?” Vuvs or your spouse?
I have polled many a Vuv on this issue (again, I remind you that when used generically, anyone with a Vuv is, in the world according to me, a Vuv) and I will help you with this one. When it comes to Vuv issues, we must go to those who are best equipped.
What are “Vuv Issues?" you ask. Come on, you know this one.
We may be professionals, working Vuvs or athletes who work and play along side men. We may be tough, we may be Gloria Steinem-like....but some part of us is "just a girl," and so many of the things that impact our emotional state in any given day are Vuv things meant to be shared with other Vuvs:
You cried at work. You're overwhelmed with house management issues. You feel ugly. You had your first episode of night sweats and you need to know what the hell happened to you and why. A handsome stranger told you that you look like Eva Mendes. You thought he looked like Orlando Bloom. Your child care situation needs improvement. With whom do you need to discuss these things? Go on, say it already.
If your answer was "My Vuvs,” are you guilty of Emotional Cheating?
No, No, No. It's only cheating if the spouse in question wants desperately to be there for you and to hear and help resolve your Vuv issues. Anyone out there got one of those? (Please, newlyweds refrain from answering this and save yourselves the shame).
Ladies, we are well within the realm of the vows ... loving, honoring, cherishing in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer and thankfully and righteously relying on our Vuvs to keep us sane throughout.
Remember, in the words of Mae West...
"Marriage is a great institutuion, but I am not ready for an institution yet."
Leslie Adler is an author and creator of thevuvclub.com