Evolving Approaches to a Complex Issue
In that spirit, providers such as Peg Johnston are experimenting with new words and rituals. The November Gang, an alliance of abortion providers, has worked to welcome patients who see abortion as a medical procedure as well as those who want to write good-bye notes to their babies, to see the fetal remains, even to perform impromptu baptisms in the procedure room. Some clinics have hired chaplains to talk to women about their religious concerns and have developed "all-options counseling" that explores parenting and adoption as well as abortion. Johnston has also helped launch a group called the Abortion Conversation Project, which tries to link people in online and real communities for "open conversations that do not demonize those with differing views."
Elizabeth Toledo, vice president of communications of Planned Parenthood, says that its clinics have always seen, and shown respect for, a wide range of attitudes. "We don't assume that a patient has any particular set of feelings." And she notes, the clergy has long been involved with the organization. Still, a source at the group says that the social climate forces officials to "comb through" every word they say. New ads aimed at teens were being quietly tested this summer before any national rollout, the source says.
Soul-searching, of course, can also be a sign of a movement in trouble; people don't always take time to be introspective when they are winning. Some years ago, many abortion opponents participated in Common Ground forums with pro-choicers around the country, but those efforts fizzled as that movement began to sense victory. Yet recently, a growing number of anti-abortion activists have been turning away from the political arena and doing more direct "service" -- offering support to women who are carrying unexpected pregnancies to term or grieving after an abortion. One group, the (comparatively tiny) Feminists for Life, is arguing that it's hypocritical to work against abortion without also fighting for programs such as family leave.
Conventional wisdom has it that younger women have opted out of the debate. In fact, the generation that came of age with the legal right to abortion may simply be looking for fresh ways to think about it. Jennifer Baumgardner, 36, who has written about young women and feminism, is at work on a book about what it means to support abortion rights and yet be "pro-life." Women under 30 have started two of the most interesting projects that address abortion as an experience: Backline, a telephone hotline for women facing decisions about a pregnancy, and Exhale, a pro-choice, "nonjudgmental" talk line for women who've had abortions.
Jan Neufeld, a 63-year-old San Francisco real estate agent, volunteers as a counselor for Exhale three or four times a month. Neufeld had two abortions as a young woman, one before Roe, the other, after. She has always been at peace with those decisions, she says. But, she adds, "If anyone thinks that it's an easy decision for a woman, they are completely f---ing bonkers."
Many women of her generation, Neufeld says, weren't consumed with the morality of abortion so much as the practical problems: "You had to make such an effort to actually do it, you didn't have the mental bandwidth to think of anything else." By contrast, younger women who call the hotline find it easy to get an abortion but hard to deal with the emotions -- guilt, loss, relief. Many say they haven't talked to anyone about their abortion -- just as, Neufeld notes, people didn't talk about it in the days when abortion was illegal. Callers are profoundly grateful simply to have someone listen. Some are defiant, some are regretful, some are at peace. The question they all ask: "Am I normal?"
It's a question that might not need to be asked if we hadn't crammed almost the entirety of this critical debate into slogans that fit on bumper stickers. Pregnancy, as Johnston notes, is usually a "transformative experience." It brings us face-to-face with hard questions about ourselves -- and about love, sex, power, life, and death. No wonder things get messy sometimes. Maybe it's time for them to get a lot messier, more interesting, and more honest.
Monika Bauerlein, investigative editor at Mother Jones magazine, has covered abortion politics for 15 years. In 2002, she faced a possible second-trimester abortion for medical reasons. Now a mother of two toddlers, she is writing a book on how we think about abortion and other issues at the margins of life.
Originally published in MORE magazine, October 2006.
