Where are all the other happily child free women?
Many women in their 40s and most Boomer women, it seems, have arrived at the stage in their lives where their children are grown and, in fact, are becoming grandmothers. But what about those of us who heard a different drummer and didn’t go the family route – either by conscious choice, subconscious choice, or circumstances? In my younger days, those voices were much more vocal, but, these days, I rarely hear a peep from this group, and I’m starting to feel all alone.While my mother was sure I would have children and told me so on a regular basis, I found myself admiring couples I met at my grandmother’s house who didn’t have children. They were mostly members of her religious group that recommended “responsible parenting” and “full-time Christian service” without kids. They traveled all over the world, and came back with stories to tell. I wanted to grow up and be just like them.
I had many adventures with that grandmother. Not only was she involved in “full-time Christian service,” but she earned income by selling specialty bras and natural skin products to the women of Southern California. My task was to ride shotgun as she picked up products and delivered them all over her area. The highlight of the day was lunch at the Sizzler. Since my family usually only ate out at McDonald’s, the Sizzler was a big deal to this little girl.
I also admired cars whizzing north on Highway 99 on visits to my other grandparents’ house—my stepfather’s parents—driven by couples with a rack of clothing in the backseat of the car. That told me they were off to some exciting adventure without kids. Still, somewhere in the back of my mind was the thought that I would someday have kids.
Ever a romantic, I worried that if I chose not to have kids, that meant I also chose not to marry, I was torn between being single with a career and being married with children. These couples gave me hope that I could be married
