Who knew that perimenopause would make me a size DD?
Listen up here, hormones, I'd like a word with you...
Okay, now that I've got your attention, here's my question: What's the deal with the DD cup size all of a sudden? You've thrown me for a bit of a loop here. It's as though I'm meeting my breasts for the first time. Sure, the girls have had their share of personality shifts over the years (thanks to your powerful forces) -- from nonexistent to a perky B on up to C before settling into a lovely round D and then back to a B+ during fertility treatment (yeah, that was a cute trick--shrinking them on synthetic hormones) but I'm clean now. No more Lupron, Pergonal or the like -- so I'm a little surprised that you're reinventing them again ... when I'm 46.
I know I should be doing cartwheels. Some women pay big bucks to get their rack in this state. Seems cleavage is everywhere these days -- especially among the 20-somethings. I can't help but blush on their behalf when I see how much some young women unself-consciously put on display. Me? I've always been a tad more modest. I'm okay showing my hood ornaments off in an evening gown, but the office? Not so much.
My mammary glands apparently have a different idea. They clearly crave attention. It's all I can do to keep these overachievers under wraps. I'd look positively cougar-esque if I decided to unleash them in even a modestly low-cut top, but that's not me.
Now that's not to say I'm unhappy with having some shape to show off but it's not just the girls I'm interested in featuring. I'm all about the whole package in a nice balanced way. That's because I exercise and eat right and feel good about my bod overall. (Frankly, I also worry that if the girls become the main act I might create some whiplash issues for those of the opposite sex who can't help themselves when an impressive set is within their purview.)
Sigh. And then there are the shopping implications. My latest mall expedition presented a serious challenge. I can fit in a size 6 or 8 skirt or slacks depending on the generosity (or not) of the cut, but a dress? Forgettaboutit. Nothing fits right. Nada, Zip.
