Most of us were taught by our parents to try to please other people, not to make waves and to be respectful and polite in our behavior. Being respectful and polite are qualities we should express. However, we should not constantly worry about the fact someone may not like our ideas, or us, when we are FOCUSED and know the direction we are taking.
For example, some people may be critical of our behavior if we are self-directed when we stand up for what is right and are not afraid to voice our opinions. The naysayers are often times jealous. They might want to make the thoughtful individual look bad for being creative or taking a risk. The person passing judgment does this because she has neither a strategy nor any ideas, so she wants to tear the self-directed person down.
You should completely understand and be comfortable with the fact not everyone is going to like you or how you think, even though your mother thought they should. Be firm in knowing and understanding that Some people Will like you, Some people Won’t like you, and it really does not matter, so you say: So What, Next. This is the SWSWSWN principle.
Don’t take rejection personally. It is just negative energy that needs to be brushed off and kicked to the curb. In your personal life or at work, when you understand the SWSWSWN principle you will be free from thinking everyone is going to like you. People who participate in recreational drugs might not be individuals you would want to have lunch with or do anything socially. Why would you care if they liked you or not? You shouldn't, so you can certainly understand how not wanting to associate yourself with that behavior allows you to move forward and look for the next friend.
- In moments like these, when you begin to feel inadequate or start to question yourself, apply the principles of SWSWSWN!
I have a very strong business personality. If someone was involved with me in a transaction and they were not doing their part of the deal, I would, in no uncertain terms, tell them what they were doing wrong. If they did not take responsibility after letting them know, I had no problem telling their boss. This behavior did not sit well with many associates and so there were agents who did not like me. I had one experience where I had let an individual know what she needed to do to complete her side of the transaction and she was not happy with me. Thinking she had hung up the phone after speaking with me, she started talking to a friend about me and the phone was still off the receiver. The individual I had just spoken with was describing me as a female dog and how I was such a pain in the rear and how she did not like me. The other person in the room said she knew me and said, "Carra does know her business; she is not someone I would want to have lunch with but she gets the job done." Both those people did not care for me but one had respect for how I did my business. Did I care? Not at all, on the personal level. I just wanted to make sure that the job I was hired to do was done. I knew the principle of SWSWSWN.
Most people know Rhett Butler’s final words to the selfish Scarlett O'Hara in GONE WITH THE WIND. They were married with a daughter, but the death of their child made Rhett realize that their troubled relationship was beyond salvage. He packed to leave and Scarlett begged him to stay, asking, "Where will I go? What will I do?"
Rhett then delivers the immortal line, "Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn," making it clear the relationship was irrevocably severed.
Rhett moved on to the NEXT chapter in his life and told Scarlett just what he thought. Moving on in life from people who do not accept you is the best behavior for your personal growth in connecting all your dots to make you who you are, and free from caring what others think. The next time someone makes you feel bad about something you have done or said, think about SWSWSWN and be happy in knowing that you are moving on to the NEXT individual who might just care.
Principle Number 1: SWSWSWN
Understand and accept this fact: not everyone is going to like you. Know who you are and always do the right thing. Apply this principle and move on because the NEXT person might understand you and could appreciate your position.
(This is an excerpt from the author's forthcoming book, Cosmic Cow Pie ... Connecting the Dots.)