She Gave Me Life Lessons—and Cake
Why does it take us well into adulthood before we appreciate our mothers?
I miss my mom today.
I don't know why.
My mother died - many years ago - from a seven year battle with cancer.
She was an extraordinary woman and, I am very pleased to say, I realized this before she died and told her so.
My mother did many things that made me into the woman I am.
Making me well-rounded
My mother encouraged me academically, but also taught me an appreciation for the arts and for sport.
We would to go the theatre, to film festivals and to the public library twice a week. She made sure I took part in team sports at school, and also took me to swimming lessons, dance lessons, speech and drama lessons, tennis lessons.
The tennis lessons finally stopped when the coach took my mother aside and said: "I can't keep taking your money, Mrs ---. Your daughter will never be a tennis player."
Making me open-minded
My mother made sure that I experienced as much as possible in spite of our conservative, suburban surroundings.
When it came to the issue of age, she took me with her when she volunteered at the retirement home, so I learned respect for the elderly. She made sure to introduce me to people there, and left me alone to talk with them.
One year she sent me to a film festival with her friend--let's call her Sally. Sally would buy two tickets for every film she wanted to see as soon as the festival program came out and then try to find people to go with her. She'd always ask my mom because Sally knew she loved that stuff. I don't know why, on this particular day, my mother sent me instead of going herself. Maybe she was busy. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she saw what the film was about and sent me on purpose.
The film was about gay women, and it was graphic.
Sally was mortified in the car on the way home, apologizing to me and saying she would have to apologize to my mother. I told her my mother wouldn't mind, and I was right. But I also learned how much my mother wanted me to learn and be open that day, when I heard her tell Sally: "It's okay, really. She has to learn about these things. It's real life."
