Does grey hair matter? Not really. What does matter is whether you master the transitions of life.
“Don’t ever go grey, because if you do, no one will listen to you.” The words came from a dear woman, Joan (not her real name), about 40 years my senior. I wasn’t really fighting grey yet, but was contemplating indulging salon color to add texture to my lifeless hair.Joan’s words sent ripples through my brain. “Is it true? Am I bound to a life where my influence is dependent on my ability to look ‘young’?” I began to investigate the lives of older women.
At first, I thought she was right. I found older women who have been marginalized. Life seems to go on without them. I don’t know what vibrance their lives might have once held for them, but today, they toddle from morning to night, anticipating any change with equal parts fear and excitement.
Was that what I had to look forward to? After a few days of mulling the negative, I decided to reverse my view.
I began to look for older women, grey haired or not, who ‘still had their game’. I discovered that you don’t have to lose your influence as you get older…and your hair color doesn’t really matter. What does matter is whether you master the transitions of life.
Every stage in life comes with its own set of transition. William Bridges, in “Managing Transitions” talks about three major steps:
1. Knowing what you are letting go of and letting go of it.
2. Floating in the (my word) nebula – a place that feels like being in a boat, at sea, in a fog, without instruments. It is in this nebula that you redefine who you are without what you lost.
3. Setting a new direction.
No matter our age, we all have people that we influence. The way we influence is different at each stage of life. Some would say that in our early years, we lead the charge of what should be; in our middle years, we create the stability of society; in our latter years, we feed the dreams of the young.
