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How Not to Act Old On Twitter

People over 40 may dominate Twitter and be the fastest-growing group on Facebook, but too often we tweet and Facebook our age.

Humorist Pamela Redmond Satran's new book, How Not to Act Old, is available at a special discount for More readers.

You long ago figured out the internets. Have gathered a couple hundred of your closest friends on Facebook. And now you're tweeting -- assuming you're doing it, you know that's the verb for using Twitter -- which makes you feel oh-so-young and groovy.

Except....you're tweeting old.

How do I know?  Because I'm following you.  And every time you tweet that you're....

-- Cooking chicken for dinner
-- Driving the kids to school
-- Heading to the gym
-- Cleaning a closet
-- Or planning a night out with your husband

....you sound old old old.

Why? Because Twitter, right now at least, is really a professional tool. It may ask you what you're doing, but it doesn't really want to know. And neither do we.

That's why Twitter makes you feel so asinine when you first start using it: You find yourself detailing the most boring, mundane events of your day, because you take seriously the Twitter command to write down what you're actually doing.

And then, if you're smart -- or if you're reading How Not To Act Old -- you catch on that Twitter is really all about letting other people know how savvy and well-connected and clever and plugged-in you are, all, of course, in a completely low-key, under-the-radar, provocative-yet-cool way.

That's why the median age of Twitter users is the oldest of any social networking site, and also why my 16-year-old calls it "whack" and "lame."  Also, with everyone from your colleagues to your current boss to the boss you wish you had following you, you owe it to yourself to tweet about that awesome story you read on Mashable, not what you're cooking for dinner.

More from Pam Satran: How Not to Act Old on Facebook

Along with this exclusive column for MORE.com, Satran offers additional up-to-the-minute tips at hownottoactold.com.

Do you tweet?  What do you think of the whole Twitter phenomenon? Post your comments below.


17 readers liked this story.
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Comments
Here's something funny: This story has gained quite a following on.....Twitter. See http://bit.ly/BTpbe. How's that for meta?
07.17.2009
Bonni Hall
After reading this, I went right to Twitter and tweeted that I am, in fact, old. I mean, just in case anyone following me thought I was young and hip (or whatever the word is now). Next tweet might be: And you kids stay off my lawn!
07.11.2009
Maya Pinion
Uh oh, guess that tweet promoting that book and this magazine marks me as old, old, old
07.10.2009
Jennifer Hargis
I didn't laugh. Was insulted and unhappy to find such an article in More. I usually do not look at the author, but I will probably remember this one and look away without reading.
07.08.2009
Mary Edwards
The Twitter article is perfect for me right now! I'm in a business that is full of young hip new designers and in trying to keep up I've joined the network. I have to admit I feel like an idiot describing my plane trips and my position in my business doesn't allow me to talk about the details of my work day. I'm going to have to get more creative.
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