I am a research psychologist who spent over 20 years counseling men and women in and out of relationships. My Ph.D. is in Psychology and I consider myself a Cougar expert, due in part to my research of many years, operating a Cougar dating site, writing countless articles on the topic, doling out thousands of hours of advice and counsel, and of course, having dated men 20+ years my junior. I'd like to share some of the things I've learned along the way.
Older women dating younger men has been nothing the locals bat an eye at in Europe. It's been going on for quire some time. But in a country such as the United States with still a bit of a puritanical hangover, only the larger cities are hopping on board.
I have seen membership grow in the past year on older women/younger men dating sites, I notice that most members are coming from the larger cities faster. Trends seem to start in California and "infect" the rest of the country. Members are from all over the world, so I get a good perspective of what this dating dynamic is like world wide.
The U.S. doesn't have any true royalty, so the populous looks to celebrities to model after. Remember when Cher was ridiculed for having such young boyfriends? Now Demi, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, and other mature women date and marry their younger loves. This behavior has in effect, legitimized and given permission to women who are tired of competing for the attentions of men in their age range who are in short supply, have alimony, child support and other issues or baggage that the mature woman who has energy to spare and a sex drive to match and who wants a companion who can keep up with her on more than one level.
It's not all about sex. Female members I have interviewed (many of whom date younger and older men) say men their age can't keep up with them, disappoint them in bed, aren't all that to look at any more and have forgotten the fine art of romancing and courting a woman. Some of the women just want a hook up with no expectations, but many women on the sites are looking for a meaningful connection, possibly long term, even marriage.
