When I was growing up, nobody wanted to have a fat lip. A fat lip let everyone know that someone punched you and made your lip swell. That meant that someone didn’t like you and they were faster than you and you were in pain as a result. In sum, you were a loser.

These days, everyone wants a fat lip or two. A cursory review of most of the women photographed in the gossip and fashion magazines reveals just how far some women will go to achieve a weak imitation of Angelina Jolie’s plump kisser. Whether they opt for injections of products similar to silly putty or fat from their own buttocks, they all end up looking like they were in a bar fight.

If I was a man and I had a date with a woman who had ever had one of those lip plumping procedures, I’d want to fill up a bag of ice for her instead of wanting to kiss her. But then again, I’m not a man and a man might not care about her lips one way or another, except to the extent that they might serve as a global positioning system to other parts of the body.

But I would think that a guy would wonder about the integrity of a woman who was trying to look like someone other than herself. It’s a little lie, isn’t it? Those women want everyone to think that they have a couple of voluptuous lips when in reality, all they have is some fanny fat or plastic under their skin. I suppose the same could be said of breast implants. Women with implants want you to think that they have a big, jolly pair of knockers but in reality, they don’t.  From a male point of view, however, they’re probably fun bags nonetheless. 

It would seem like a red flag to me, though, if I were a guy who was dating a woman with fake boobs and/or fake lips. I would wonder just how far this treachery would go and I would feel like I was being taken for someone who had no idea what was real and what wasn’t. Like an idiot. But who is the bigger idiot? The person who gets the painful injections that result in fat lips or the person who finds them attractive? It’s probably the person who pays for them. After all, they used to be free.