Planning to show your devotion to Cupid this Valentine’s Day by swathing yourself in the brightest shade of red you can find? Slow down there, lover. Romance may be in the air, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s time to bust out just any ol’ shade of the color. In fact, Emmy Award–winning stylist David Zyla says finding your best version of red—be it pink, plum, brick or even tangerine—will help you look empowered, vivacious and, yes, totally sexy this Valentine’s Day.

We spoke with the author of Color Your Style about how to find your personal version of red, how to look sexy, but not trashy, on the big day, and what to wear on a holiday date. An edited version of the interview follows.

MORE: So, what makes finding your own best color so important when it comes to choosing clothing?
David Zyla: We are all so uniquely different, and my idea is to celebrate our uniqueness. I believe that there are colors found in our eyes, hair and skin—which I call our true colors—that really push us forward and illuminate us. We’ve all had that moment of being at an event or at work where compliment after compliment is coming our way and people keep telling us, “You look great! What did you do?” And oftentimes I have found that it was the color people were responding to, because the color was so flattering to the person wearing it. They were illuminated and they were noticed even more.

MORE: And you say everyone has a romantic color. How do you figure out which one is for you?
DZ: The romantic color, or one’s version of red—it can also be called the vital color or the sexy color—is found by pinching your fingertip. That color you see when you pinch the tip—it’s going to be a pink, a burgundy, a rust, a rose, a true red—that is your romantic color. It’s basically a lipstick color, so if it’s difficult for you to distinguish what that color is, I would suggest going to a lipstick counter to match it.

MORE: Obviously, red and pink are popular for Valentine’s Day. But is it cool to wear those shades on the holiday, or are they just too obvious?
DZ: I think one should wear the colors that one looks best in, so, for instance, if you don’t wear red any time of the year—if you’re putting on a lot more makeup, or different makeup, to wear it—it’s just probably not your best color. I would say, why wear it that one day of the year if it’s not really you? Yes, it’s honoring the spirit of the holiday, but it’s really not illuminating you, and you should look absolutely beautiful and vivacious and sexy for your Valentine’s date.

MORE: And what about styles with hearts or other love symbols? Too literal?
DZ: I think that’s an individual thing. If you’re a woman who wears a charm bracelet, you could probably get away with a heart pin or a heart charm, or even a print that has hearts in it. But if you’re the woman who is head to toe in neutrals every single day, with one piece of jewelry at a time, that’s probably going to look silly on you. Again, picture who you are and dress as the best version of yourself at all times.

MORE: Can you wear red lipstick if you’re wearing a red outfit?
DZ: You’re not going to want the exact same color on your lips as what you’re wearing, because then, basically, your face is competing with your dress. I feel that we dress to illuminate ourselves. Of course, the face is the first thing that is noticed, and I think that not to compete is a good idea. If you look great and are wearing a fire engine red dress, I would probably take the shade down a notch on the lips.