The Most Common Dirty Tricks Husbands Use During Divorce

Some are illegal. Others are sneaky, spiteful or just plain mean

by Jeffrey A. Landers • Divorce Financial Strategist™ and founder of Bedrock Divorce Advisors, LLC

At Bedrock Divorce Advisors, we've seen the full range of underhanded tactics used by disgruntled husbands and/or their divorce teams –and to be honest, it’s not at all pleasant to see adults act so irrationally.

But, please, don’t misunderstand.

I’m not saying that all divorces are bitter battles. In fact, some are relatively amicable, and most are settled in rather straight forward fashion, outside the courts. Still, dirty tricks are much more common than women think, and I always tell my clients it’s best to enter divorce with both eyes open, aware of what some husbands will do to gain an upper hand in the process.

Here’s a small sampling of the most common dirty tricks I see. Your husband may try to:

“Conflict out” all the top divorce lawyers

“Conflicting out” divorce attorneys is becoming more and more popular, especially for those involved in financially complex divorce cases. Why? Because by “conflicting out” certain attorneys, your husband can make it difficult for you to hire the lawyer that’s best for you.

The strategy for conflicting out is simple. Your husband makes appointments with all the top lawyers in your area. Then, he meets with each one –but only for a brief session. All he needs to do during those meeting is share enough information to create an attorney-client relationship. Once he does, that particular attorney will be prohibited from representing you.

Of course, your husband doesn’t actually have to hire any of these attorneys. The entire goal with this tactic is to “conflict out” the best attorneys so you can’t hire them.

The only way to combat this tactic is to hire a divorce attorney as quickly as you possibly can. That doesn’t mean you should rush into a decision. But, it does mean you need to recognize the potential pitfalls of procrastination. If you wait too long to hire an attorney, your options may be limited.

Stall and delay

Some husbands stall and delay, dragging out routine divorce proceeding so they last one or two years --or even longer! By repeatedly rescheduling court hearings and/or filing excessive motions and requests for evidence, your husband can force your legal costs to skyrocket, while extending the time during which you must cover living expenses. What’s the motivation? He’s hoping you'll run out of money and be forced to agree to his settlement offer, which is probably extremely unfavorable to you.

Rush to settlement

While some husbands stall and delay, others do just the opposite --they exert extreme pressure to wrap up the divorce quickly. Why would a husband be in such a rush? Often, it’s because he has something to hide. Here’s how this tactic works: Very early in the process, your husband’s attorney sends over a settlement proposal for you to review and counter.  More often than not, this means he wants to get the divorce over and done with quickly, and he wants you to settle for what appears to be a reasonable offer. 

The problem, of course, is that since you haven’t had the time to receive (nor comb through) all the discovery documents requested, you don’t have complete knowledge about key financial matters involving your marital assets, income sources, expenses, debts, etc.  Plus, rushing to get a settlement is especially sneaky if your husband has been busy hiding assets and/or income, and now he is trying to get you to agree to a 50-50 split of only a portion of your total assets. Don’t make the mistake of agreeing to a settlement based on only partial information!

Deny, deny, deny access to financial resources

If your husband realizes you’re not particularly savvy about the family finances, he can use your lack of knowledge to his advantage.  For example, he could make sure he’s the only one who can access family funds. He could cut off your credit cards, move funds from family accounts and even change beneficiaries on his life insurance policies.

Share Your Thoughts!


Victoria 04.28.2015

I have just found this article, trying to find a way to help my brother speed up his divorce proceedings. Frankly, I'm DISGUSTED by the fact that this article puts MEN as the only perpetrators of these tactics. My mother is a family law attorney, and I've seen more dirty tricks and tactics pulled by WOMEN than by men. Get your s*&^ together, More, and realize that women are not victimized in the court of the law. They have equal rights, and equally pull the same dirty tricks that you say that MEN do.

Future win09.19.2013

The fact is that most women win in divorce. I feel bad for the women out there that have gotten screwed, but I feel worse for all the Dad's and kids that are getting screwed because of all the lying, selfish, rotten wiches out there.

frank carina07.14.2013

Life can be very displeasing especially when we loose the ones we love and cherish so much. in this kind of situation where one loses his/her soul mate there are several dangers engage in it. one may no longer be able to do the things he was doing before then success will be very scarce and happiness will be rare. that person was created to be with you for without him things may fall apart. That was my experience late last year. but thank god today i am happy with him again. all thanks goes to Dr. Awase, i was nearly loosing hope until i saw an article on how Dr. Awase could cast a love spell to make lovers come back. There is no harm in trying, i said to my self. i contacted him via email: words will not be enough to appreciate what he has done for me. i have promised to share the good news as long as i live

Shelly Danny07.13.2013

I really wanted my ex to return to me, but I also wanted the reassurance did this actually works and I did not want to be taken advantage of. I did not have a lot of money so I wanted this to work. I wanted my ex back and I will do anything to get her back. I love her and want only her in my life. Priestess Munak went over some important details of my life, and after casting the spell, my loved Lisa called me back, and moved in with me again. We are very happy now, I would advice anyone to meet this spell lady for her spell is strong. her email is

relief temple07.12.2013

my name is christian i visited for relationship and dating counseling problems because i had been having serious issues with my girlfriend and we had been dating for six months,she just suddenly changed,she was no longer returning my calls,she started cheating,she was hurting me in so many ways i never thought possible and I just thought I should try it maybe out of desperation of some sort ..and I contacted first everything felt dreamy and unbelieving,their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cause I have read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters,scams and i never really believed in magic..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything took a new new direction,it is so amazing…I guess it was all in good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope they could help other people too like he did to me…I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for my wife,my family and my life back their address is;

laura jason07.07.2013

I'm short of words here, I don't know what to say about what Dr khakani has done for me. My lover scott left me for almost 2years, I really loved my husband scott because he was my first love, When he left me I thought the world was over. But when I came in contact with dr khakani he just told me that my lover will be back to my arms within 48hours and that he will love and respect me forever. So the most surprising thing is that my lover is now back to me and we are now together. My lover bought me a nice car and now I also have access to his bank account to show me that he will never leave me or hurt me again. Am so grateful to dr khakani. Please Dr khakani is a great him for any kind of help and he will never disappoint you. His private email or cell phone +2348062216903

faith222 steven07.04.2013

My Name is faith, I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man called Dr Moko has just done for me , this man has just brought back my lost Ex husband to me with his great spell, i was married to this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved our self’s but when i was unable to give he a child for 2 years he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then i was now looking for ways to get him back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave his contact email ( then you won't believe this when i contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring my lost husband back, and after a month i miss my month and go for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl, thank you once again the great Dr Moko for what you have done for me, if you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can contact he today on his mail ( ) and he will also help you as well."

Lisa 09.09.2012

I was shocked to find out how unprepared the courts are to handle a lying and manipulative spouse. My ex never paid any of the court-ordered fees and there is nothing I can do outside of getting an additional civil ruling against him (at my expense). I had to learn to let go even as I paid for the man's lies and deceptions.

Post new comment

Click to add a comment