1. How do you text with long nails?
Is this why talk-to-text was invented?
2. Or put in contacts?
This woman is so brave.
3. Or wipe your ass?
We're all wondering.
4. Why are extensions a thing?
Even more hair to style? No, thank you.
5. How do you wear those death contraptions called "heels"?
We'll just let this gif speak for itself.
6. Aren't those earrings weighing your head down?
If I can't comfortably wear a pair of earrings for literally weeks at a time, I want nothing to do with them.
7. What's the difference between lotion and body butter?
Is there actually a difference?
8. Why do you need 12 different makeup palettes to do one job?
Okay and what the heck is baking? As far as I'm concerned, that's something you do with muffins.
9. Also, what's with all those makeup brushes?
You mean I can't just use two brushes and a q-tip to do everything?
10. And why is it necessary to clean them?
Wait... You're supposed to clean them?
11. Why do you need such a big suitcase?
A low-maintenence girl can pack all her things into a backpack and call it good.
12. Do people actually sleep in things other than oversized t-shirts?
Lingerie? Nightgowns? People actually sleep in those?
13. How do you manage to wear a real bra all day?
Sports bras are a gift from above.
14. Is contouring a myth?
Who has time for that anyway?
15. Who is Tom Ford?
We don't really care about designers. Your purse is Michael Kors? Well, my ice cream is by Ben and Jerry.
16. Why do you wake up so early to get ready?
I've mastered getting ready in 10 minutes flat.
17. You just paid WHAT for a haircut?!
I'd rather just cut it myself.
18. What is "balayage"?
And ombré? I'm convinced someone just made up all these words to confuse us low-maintenence people.
19. What the hell did you just order at Starbucks?
Am I the only one who doesn't have a made-up half caf skinny extra sweetener light caramel latte?
20. How do you look like an actual person at 8AM?
Are you dressed up because the Queen asked you to brunch?
21. Why is it taking everyone so long to get ready?
For a night out, you're always the one waiting for everyone else.
22. Can I just get a beer?
The best part about being a low maintenence girl is the simplicity. You don't have many needs and you find happiness in small things. Cheers to you, girlfriend. Keep on rocking those sweatpants.