Does This Cocktail Make Me Look Old?

By Pamela Redmond Satran • Guest Writer
Photograph: Kenji Aoki

Place the ingredients in a jar; the tequila should cover the chocolate. Store the mixture at room temperature for 5 to 7 days, gently shaking the jar every 2 days. When the tequila turns a nice chocolate brown, it is ready for use. Strain the liquid and be sure to discard the chocolate. (Eating the chocolate might cause stomach problems.)

Parent-Subsidized Mortgage aka Bogie

2 ounces Firefly Sweet Tea vodka
1 ounce sour mix (recipe above)
Sugared lemon wedge for garnish

Shake, and strain over crushed ice into a highball glass. Garnish with a sugared lemon wedge.

 

Quarterlife Crisis Fizz  aka Southside Fizz

 

2 ounces gin
1 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice
¾ ounce simple syrup, or to taste (recipe above)
Pinch of fresh mint plus 1 sprig for garnish
Club soda

Combine gin, lime juice, simple syrup and mint in a cocktail shaker. Add ice, and shake well. Strain into a highball glass filled with ice. Add club soda, and garnish with the mint sprig.

Ashton Shooter aka Buttery Nipple

1 ounce butterscotch liqueur
1 ounce Irish cream liqueur

Combine in a chilled shot glass—and go for it.

Want more How Not to Act Old? Click below! . . .

How Not to Act Old With Your Hair

How Not to Act Old at Work

How Not to Weekend Old

How Not to Act Old in Bed

How Not to Act Old On a Diet

How Not to Act Old at the Beach

How Not to Act Old With Celebrities

How Not to Act Old On Facebook

How Not to Act Old On Twitter

How Not to Act Old: Hot-Flash Special

How Not to Act Old With Emoticons

How Not to Act Old: Nostalgia Edition

How Not to Act Old: Men's Edition

How Not to Act Old with a Younger Man

How Not to Phone Old

How Not to Act Old On YouPorn

How Not to Act Old: Dying--So Not Cool!

How Not to Act Old On Valentine's Day

How Not to Act Old: Greatest Hits

Check out Satran’s hilarious book, How Not to Act Old.

First Published February 25, 2010

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