The "Fantasy Bra" I REALLY Want for Christmas

Forget the Victoria’s Secret version. These are the features we really want in our foundation garments.

by Mel Miskimen
$10 million lingerie
Photograph: Victoria's Secret

Victoria’s Secret recently unveiled its 2013 Fantasy Bra, which costs $10 million. I get it. This bra is Art. Not meant to be taken literally. It’s all about showing off. Possibilities. Pushing the push-up envelope.

But let’s say I could afford to buy it. What would I get for my ten mil? A bra encrusted with more than 4,200 precious gems, including a 52-karat, very large ruby.

Is that it?

In my world, a fantasy bra would do something truly fantastic, like allow the wearer to experience time travel or, if that’s not possible, at least change the wearer into a Victoria’s Secret model.

OK, maybe that’s too ambitious. Another kind of fantasy bra would be one that doesn’t pinch or poke. Its straps would never go limp, and it would somehow mold itself to fit whatever shape my out-of-shape shape is in.

Of course it would look good under anything I choose to wear. And it would instantly morph into a sexy date bra in response to my husband’s raised-eyebrow look (the one he gets whenever he watches anything with Sofia Vergara in it).

It wouldn’t require babying with expensive, not-found-at-the-grocery-store soap.

Could I make it tag-free, flameproof, cool in summer, warm in winter and, in case of emergency, usable as a flotation device? Of course! It’s my fantasy.

Bottom line: To me, a fantasy bra is the one that makes me feel like $10 million instead of costing that much.

Mel Miskimen is a frequent contributor to More and More.com. Click here to buy her book, Cop's Kid: A Milwaukee Memoir

Mel tackles male menopause: Managing His He-Invention.

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