STIFLE THE ADVICE – Listen we’re not even going to utter the M word. Just remember this guy is a fellow adult and resist the urge to offer unsolicited advice on everything from what appetizer he should order to how he should invest his money. Similarly, do not clean his kitchen, administer his cold medicine, or hang up his jacket.
NO AGE CRACKS – You know how when you want to ease the tension over something, you often end up talking and joking about it more than you ordinarily might, just to prove it doesn’t really matter? Well in this case, don’t do that. Saying things like, “Well, you’re so young you wouldn’t remember that,” or, “At my age….,” is kind of old even when you’re not in a relationship with somebody younger. Don’t make your differences seem more extreme.
DON’T FORGET TO WAX, AND WE’RE NOT TALKING EYEBROWS – To break the rule we just set down, he may be so young he wouldn’t remember when women didn’t routinely wax their bikini area. Unless you want to look like the female equivalent of the long-bearded hermit coming down after a half century on the mountain, pay a visit to the waxer before you get naked with your young dude.
DITCH THE BIKINI PANTIES – Even real grannies know you can’t wear granny panties anymore. And now conventional bikini panties – cotton, utilitarian, boring – are old too. Thongs are always hot, or boy shorts, or even those outrageously beribboned and beruffled steampunk undies.
DON’T TRY TOO HARD – A How Not To Act Old reader, Jane Shattuck, who writes the blog Planet Barbardos, recently sent me this tip: Don’t gush or make a big deal when a young man flirts or issues a compliment. This seems to me the sort of excellent advice I’m rarely able to follow. The fact is, it CAN be a big deal when a young guy comes on to you (boy, there’s a dated phrase). Maybe it hasn’t happened for a long time, maybe it feels like it will never happen again. But just don’t let on that it feels that way, OK? Pretend like you have 28-year-old guys falling all over you every day, and maybe soon you will.
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