Where Have All the Shorts Gone?

by Lynn White • More.com Member { View Profile }

The other day the zipper broke on a pair of my shorts. Unfortunately, I am by no means any measure of a seamstress. Certainly not for lack of trying, but let’s just say that my running stitch tends to look more like a slow jog. So I headed to the store to purchase a new pair. First I hit Old Navy, which I like to call my Old Standby because I’ve bought shorts there before, they’re true to size, and I never have to spend time trying them on. Unfortunately there were no shorts anywhere to be found. Next Kohl’s – no shorts. It became an all-day excursion, trekking from store to store with the same result. No shorts!!! Hello, I live in the south, it’s mid-August, sunny and hot with temperatures averaging high 80’s to low 90’s. In other words…shorts weather! Where have all the shorts gone?

Now if I want to pick out a pair of corduroy pants or a nice turtleneck sweater there are plenty of choices. But, call me crazy I don’t want to dress like "Nanook of the North" in the middle of the sweltering days of summer. "Excuse me, where are the shorts?" I asked one of the store clerks. "Not here," she replied. "They’re out of season." "Out of season," I stammered. "But it’s still summer!" The clerk only responded with a disinterested shrug and a withering look that silently conveyed that obviously I was completely unsavvy when it came to the world of fashion.  This got me wondering if my fellow shoppers in the northern states experienced similiar problems. Say for instance in mid-winter, after shoveling the drive and manuvering the car over the icy roads, is the unsuspecting shopper met with rows of tank tops and mix-n-match swimsuits? 

I know the first day back to school seems to arrive earlier and earlier but do the seasons arrive earlier now too? Is this an affect of global warming? Now that the new school year is underway, I’m sure all the "Back-to-School" supplies are already being replaced with Halloween items. And probably in late October, as I head in to pick up an extra bag of trick-or-treat candy I’ll hear Christmas music playing overhead. Matter of fact, if I recall correctly, I think last year the stores did completely bypass Thanksgiving altogether. Guess there’s not much revenue in honeycomb paper turkeys.

Well, all I have to say is that I just hope all the little ghosts and goblins who stop by my house on Halloween enjoy the chocolate Santas.

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