Is It Time to Break Up With Facebook?

A digital media strategist discusses the latest dilemma in her love-hate relationship with social media: Facebook Timeline

by Jennifer Mirsky
jennifer mirsky image
Jennifer Mirsky
Photograph: Ellen Dubin Photography.

A colleague once dubbed me “Little Miss Cyber-Privacy.” The moniker didn’t sting, even though I work in digital media and have been ribbed before for my reluctance to share (or overshare, depending on your perspective). Truth is, I’ve guarded my privacy long before my journeys in cyberspace — since I was a child — and I see no reason to stop now. Especially now. But social media keeps growing in popularity, and it gets harder and harder to avoid divulging the kind of information we privacy freaks would rather keep to ourselves.

With Facebook Timeline, the social network’s revamped profile design, those concerned about privacy should ponder what they’re willing to reveal and whether connection trumps privacy in this brave new world. That’s because Timeline is not just a catalogue of your online experiences, or even of your education and work history (as on LinkedIn). It is really, truly, and I would add madly, a timeline of your life starting with where and on what date you were born.

Facebook Timeline is the latest dilemma of my love-hate relationship with technological progress and communication tools. I’m smack in the middle of the twenty-somethings, who share everything and text all day, and the sixty-year-olds, who think we’ve all lost our heads, preferring the old-fashioned telephone or — oh horror! — face-to-face. Still favoring email over texts, I adopt the latest advances because my career mandates it, and because I’m genuinely interested, but I try to do so on my own terms.

For instance, in an effort to establish a work-life balance, I long resisted giving out my personal cell phone number at work, figuring I was already reachable round the clock via email, with my ever-present BlackBerry. This solution worked well for years, until none other than the White House requested my cell number for a 2007 piece we were doing at iVillage.com on First Lady Laura Bush. I reluctantly obliged. (Consoling me, a colleague said, “Don’t worry — they probably already had it.”)

At other times, I harnessed the anonymity of the web, taking solace in its freedom of expression and lack of geographic constraint. When the decision to start a family evolved into a harrowing ordeal, virtual strangers offered support and insight that trumped what would have been forthcoming, in my judgment, from lifelong “real world” relationships. In more joyous times, I had fun impersonating my dog on his blog and social media channels (“Why Bark When You Can Blog? Confessions of a Portuguese Water Dog”). He ignored the strong scent of Foursquare, finding no reason to broadcast his whereabouts or declare himself “mayor” of his favorite spot. He is my alter ego after all.

But now there’s Facebook Timeline, and the network requires “everyone to provide their real names, so you always know who you're connecting with.” In other words, anonymous handles and pseudonyms be gone! My reservations about fleshing out my Timeline have run the gamut from neurotic (or cautious, again depending on your perspective) concerns about identity theft, to what is probably widespread ambivalence about combining one’s personal and work lives, to the vagaries of my own particular comfort zone.

Facebook prompted me to add a cover photo (which I did willingly, being of the visual school) and life events (which I declined). Even though I chose to leave off such personally identifiable information as my birthday and school graduation dates and to hide some other information I’d already supplied, I soon realized that the new profile display was as telling for what was omitted as for what was included. But I asked myself if I really wanted to spell out the personal details of my life on my Facebook Timeline — the milestones that happened and when, the milestones that didn’t happen, the milestones that were in the process of happening. I concluded, no, I did not.

What’s your reaction?

Comments

10.21.2012

Wonderful article. It prompted the following self-reflection:
Things I Did Today That I Wouldn’t Have Done If I Was On Facebook
Met two friends for brunch and ran into two more friends who were brunching at the same restaurant (all four are very close friends).
Baked a lemon cake.
Played with my Norwegian Forest cats (Weegies).
Vacuumed UNDERNEATH the bed.
Watched four deer having a nosh in my front yard.
Cleaned/reorganized the kitchen cabinets and recycled a box full of useless plastic containers and glass jars that were collecting dust.
Attempted to re-pot a plant, but I didn’t dig deep enough and broke it off above the root.

10.21.2012

Wonderful article. It prompted the following self-reflection:
Things I Did Today That I Wouldn’t Have Done If I Was On Facebook
Met two friends for brunch and ran into two more friends who were brunching at the same restaurant (all four are very close friends).
Baked a lemon cake.
Played with my Norwegian Forest cats (Weegies).
Vacuumed UNDERNEATH the bed.
Watched four deer having a nosh in my front yard.
Cleaned/reorganized the kitchen cabinets and recycled a box full of useless plastic containers and glass jars that were collecting dust.
Attempted to re-pot a plant, but I didn’t dig deep enough and broke it off above the root.

Judy 10.21.2012

Wonderful article. It prompted the following self-reflection:
Things I Did Today That I Wouldn’t Have Done If I Was On Facebook:
Met two friends for brunch and ran into two more friends who were brunching at the same restaurant (all four are very close friends).
Baked a lemon cake.
Played with my Norwegian Forest cats (Weegies).
Vacuumed UNDERNEATH the bed.
Watched four deer having a nosh in my front yard.
Cleaned/reorganized the kitchen cabinets and recycled a box full of useless plastic containers and glass jars that were collecting dust.
Attempted to re-pot a plant, but I didn’t dig deep enough and broke it off above the root.

Carla 04.22.2012

Thank you for writing this article. It's not that hard to let go of facebook once you try.

K Levin04.17.2012

Until I read this article, I have to admit I didn't really understand all the implications of Timeline - so, thank you, Jennifer (and thank you, More!) for spelling them out in a relatable way. This article mirrors exactly what I've been worrying about regarding what I've heard about Timeline. I’ll keep resisting until forced to adopt Timeline, but in the meantime – your article helped me understand there are precautions I can take now to protect my privacy. I think it's worth taking the time to do it. Thank you!!

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