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Red Carpet Recap: American Music Awards

Only at a music awards show would you be able to find a floor-length, Asian-inspired gown and a spandex minidress with pointless cutouts on the same red carpet. Unlike rigidly formal events like the Oscars, the American Music Awards seems to offer tacit approval for celebs to throw good taste and reason to the wind—blame it on the high concentration of wacky musicians and eccentrics. Here are some of the good, the bad, and the just plain confusing looks from last night's show.

Jennifer Lopez

1 / 10

Take one part figure-skater suit, and one part “I just went walking through the bushes naked” and this is what you get. Somehow JLo makes it work.

Katy Perry

2 / 10

We love this dress, even with the extreme boob spillage, but the periwinkle platforms, cotton-candy hair, and cherry red lips leave us feeling like we at the state-fair concession stand, and we’re unsure what to order.

Audrina Patridge

3 / 10

This fabric looks like couch upholstery, except this tiny swath could cover only a couch for teacup Chihuahuas. Maybe that’s Audrina’s spirit animal.

Jenny McCarthy

4 / 10

The color is great on Ms. McCarthy, but her boobs look like they are dying a slow and painful death by _smoosh_. Also, the poofy skirt reminds us of cupcakes. We want cupcakes.

Taylor Swift

5 / 10

Yeah, sure, it’s pretty. But be careful; this dress is imbued with the unique power to suck all of the vitality out of the starlets who wear it and all those who gaze upon it.

Julie Bowen

6 / 10

The first word that comes to mind when we see this is “frazzled.” The second words are “Big Bird.” And then, of course, comes _Fraggle Rock_. That said, we kind of like it.

Heidi Klum

7 / 10

Heidi to her stylist: “I want to look like I was wrapped in tinfoil, but I also want to show my underwear and have a middle-school craft-project vibe.” Kudos, stylist, for making Heidi’s dreams come true.

Robin Thicke

8 / 10

We like the jacket and pants; we even like the hair. However, we just can’t lose the feeling that there’s a pretentious goober somewhere in the room. Oh right, it’s the sunglasses.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber

9 / 10

Selena looks fabulous here, we love the fringe at the bottom of her gown, but it looks like Justin mistook the AMAs for a night of Christmas caroling in the 1800s. It’s okay, Justin, it happens to the best of us.

Phoebe Price

10 / 10

This look is fine, but we really don’t feel there’s enough going on. Had Phoebe thrown on some detachable fur arm warmers, some 3-D glasses (for kicks), and a collar necklace with flashing LED lights then we’d have something to talk about.

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