I enjoyed reading your "story" Love the path – there are no "right" or one way to ive your life – knowing yourself is just the beginning. Your relationship sounds fantastic. I don’t know where the next decade will take me but I know that I will keep moving on . . . change is life.

Thanks for the comments – Most posts have been great – the "attacking" posts were removed because they got personal – they accused me of "trolling the internet for my husband." when the post is about me: READ! I hit 50 this year and it is all about honesty and fearlessness. There are so many people that think like me – and again, its just a recognition that humans are quite complex and different hence, so are relationships. But we are humans – social beings, and its 100% natural to want to develop connections with other people. It is really just that simple. I chose to stay married and so does my husband and it is has taken our relationship to a whole new, stronger, level. It is great – and We laugh a whole lolt more! More Joy!

Of course my husband reads the posts -you should have seen him when I was flamed – we had a blast responding together – we are now beyond "theory" to total acceptance and delight! It is so easy to lose yourself in a relationship and if you have children its a double whammy! I married late in life after law school, career and much travel – so I was ready to have children. So my early 40-mid 40’s were all about the kids and our marriage when through a dry spell and tough time – incluiding my husband’s infidelity. We have worked through it all – we are both on the same page despite our age difference No Open Marriage is not for everyone. It only works with couples that are very secure with themselves and the marriage – and totally open and honest with each other – and remember – its not about just going out and having sex with 3rd parties -its recognizing that we can have more than one personal and intimate relationship if one so desirs. I desire !

I’m guessing that your husband doesn’t read what you put online…lol… or is he aware of your need to stretch your wings? I’m in the process if getting separated now. So I totally understand what you’re going through. I feel like I’ve lost myself as well. It’s not his fault. Somehow I did it myself and I’m ready to bring "me" back. I’m not looking for the old me, but rather I’m looking forward to a new and improved "me". I’m not up for the "open marriage" thing though. Personally I don’t think I could handle that. But kudos to you if that’s your thing.

First of all Lisa, major kudos to you for being honest with yourself. I myself have never been married, though i wanted to on many occassions but when it presented itself I ran for the hills and said No!. One of the reasons was for your posting, I couldn’t see myself looking at the same person for the rest of my life. I am one of those females that changes my hair as much as I change my underwear, constantly. I laugh. I have had my children. I was with their fathers for as long as we could tolerate each other but i was growning and they didn’t. I wouldn’t say I just slept around because I didn’t. I was actually in long relationship and then they were over and you move on. At 48 I am more comfortable with myself, my partner is 13 years my junior and he is the first man I have lived with since I separated with my youngest childs father. My son is now 22 so I did okay. We have a great relationship and much respect for each other as we lived and share the same space but our lives are different on the outside. I guess this is the best non-marriage I’ve been in. Anyone that knocked you for your honesty needs to take the rose colored galsses off and look at themselves in the mirror. I think people forget we are Human Beings, subject to change at any given time. Commitment is an individual choice in any relationship, married or not. It is great to know my partner andI are comfortable in our relationship to know the candle light is always lite in the window to come home to safety. Thanks for sharing

Hiya! Just my two cents. Most people, if they’re honest, rate at about a 3 on the Kinsey Scale (a rating scale on how hetero or homo-sexual a person is). Women, especially seem to rate higher toward being attracted other women. Probably because, in general, women seem to be more affectionate and more comfortable with expressing their feelings. JMHO. You’re right Nina, it is disappointing that most folks have not opened their ways of thinking a bit more. The best way I have found of dealing with this is to surround myself with the people who accept me for me. This includes my husband and my dear friends (this includes the men who I am relationships with). I can’t even tell anyone in my family about my choices and that is sad. I feel like I am not being true to the poly lifestyle because, if poly is done "right", everyone knows, everyone accepts, everyone is honest. But the reality is, there are those who just could not accept it and I work for some of those. I would lose my job. And I can’t afford that right now. Hopefully, someday, we’ll get to the point as a society where our love lives are not considered part of our character (maybe that’s not the right word). But where what we do in our private lives is not considered in how we are evaluated professionally and publicly. I get so tired of having celebrities’ sex lives thrown in my face. It is not my business and I don’t care. This is what I wish our society could move beyond, that lurid fascination with other people’s private lives.

You are soo welcome:) I saw some of the opposing views which I guess were mild. I wasn’t around when you were flamed but boring people never make history and we all do think differently. I love it when someone makes me think outside of the box. I never in a million yrs. would have been ever thought that my current ideas would have ever entered my mind. I didn’t understand it and coulds not see any good and maybe those people are just fortunate to have more with one individual (or they are not being truthful with themselves) or they may be at a different stage of their lives. Either way this topic has the most replies so obviously it has struck a cord and needs to be discussed. You are very blessed to have an open & honest relationship.

Thanks for reading the topic – When I first posted, it caused some controversary. Then 2 months later an ex-friend of mine & her neo bonker friends really flamed me here but More removed the comments. As I get close to 50 – I am fearless about such things. My husband is totally tickled with me – how we have evolved. In fact, we are so much closer than a year ago – we are best friends – you should hear us talking about "how cute X is" or "would you lke X". Presently I am blogging with other like-minded women on another site – there are so many people out there that are poly and bi-friendly – like Drew stated – its more mainstream than one thinks its just hidden out of fear. I am now free to explore new relationships and my husband thinks its great! Right now I am exploring relationships with other interesting women!!

Very well stated. You have awonderful way of really expressing yourself!!! I totally agree with with your post and feel exactly the same way. I was tell Kate that women have probably always had these feelings but would never dare express them. I believe in total honesty which is something that I have found that the majority of people really still can’t handle. Only those totally comfortable with themselves and their world. This is in all arenas, the work place, friendships, family, just life in general. Wow, I am still surprised by this and disappointed that we haven’t come further in our thinking.

Hello Kate:) This caught my eye months ago but of course, I didn’t know how to phase my question at the time. Then after months of reading the Sexless Marriage topics, I was finally brave enough to post my own discussion titled: HELP!!! How often do you and your husband have sex and do you get seduced often?? Because I wanted to know if I was longing for something that didn’t really exist. No one so far has said that their husband really takes his time in the secduction all or most of the time except of course, Lucky Lisa:) My situation is complex so if you read the thread you’ll understand me a little better but in there I did mention that I have been just joking around with my husband for years that I need a lesbian lover to fulfil my needs. He says back, that’s okay I’ll just film it. He of course doesn’t want another women because he can’t handle the one he has. Again, go back to my discussion. I think Lisa very eloquently stated how people and history has changed regarding sexuality. It has probably always been there but not discussed, poor women of the early 1900’s:(