Do you ever feel a sense of fear, panic, or disappointment in your life or practice? (Hmmm, that’s a bit like asking you, “Is your heart beating? Are you breathing?”)
That’s the perfect opportunity to use one of my favorite transformational coaching tools: Radical Forgiveness, developed by renowned author, speaker, and teacher Colin Tipping.
- We are each connected to Divine source energy. As such, we are infinitely resourceful.
- Pain comes from forgetting that we are the essence of source energy at our core, and believing we’re separate instead.
- Every pain we experience is here to remind us to wake up and remember the true nature of our divinity.
- We are the creator of all our experiences. And we invited the people who helped us create those experiences into our lives—even if we forgot when or how. In playing that role, those people are actually giving us a gift with their actions.
Does any of this ring a bell for you? Then consider trying your hand at Radical Forgiveness next time you feel the tell-tale sting of anger, shame, fear or resentment.
Here are four simple steps to get you started along your path to self-forgiveness and healing:
Step 1: “Look what I created!”
Saying this reminds you that you aren’t a victim but the creator of all your circumstances—and not just the good ones.
What’s critical here is not to assume guilt. Instead, say it with the delight of remembering how incredibly creative you are.
Benjamin Zander, music director of the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and an advocate for embracing “the art of possibility,” suggest that whenever you make a mistake, throw your arms in the air and say, “How fascinating!”
Wherever you create circumstances that cause you pain, you are equally capable of creating circumstances that bring you joy.
Step 2: “I notice my judgments and love myself for having them.”
Simply accept the imperfection of your humanity and love yourself, even for having your judgments. Because that’s simply another part of who you are.
Step 3: “I am willing to see the perfection in this situation.”
According to Tipping, willingness is the essential step in the Radical Forgiveness process.
He says, “It equates to a prayerful surrendering in the moment to the divine plan and the willingness to love ourselves for not being able to see this plan directly.”
Step 4: “I choose the power of peace.”
Another one of my spiritual teachers taught me to say it this way: “Dear Holy Spirit, please fill me with your peace.”
After using this prayer many times over the past few years, I assure you, it works. Even in the most stressful situations.
Ready to practice the art of Radical Forgiveness? I highly recommend the book.
And Tipping suggests writing these four steps on index cards and keeping them close at hand. Then whenever you feel that pang of discomfort in any relationship ~ even in your practice—take a moment to move through each of the steps.
You’ll remember your own divinity. And fill yourself with nourishing peace.