What do Joan Rivers, Bette Midler and Gwyneth Paltrow have in common? They're all Twitter comedians, along with many other stars. Check out these hilarious—intentionally or not—celeb tweets.
"French Vogue has published racy photos of a 10 year-old model, which is outrageous! Everyone knows that models are over the hill by age 9."
"How about that 51 y/o actor from LOST marrying a 16 y/o? Does she say to him 'Honey not tonight. I have a big algebra test tomorrow?'"
"I hate the treadmill. I hate the stationary bike. I hate running in the street. Can't I stay in shape just by hating?"
"Who do I have to bang to get an advance copy of the new @coldplay album? I mean, really."
@GwynethPaltrow, referring to her husband, Chris Martin's, band
"Thanks to everyone who voted me 'Choice Comedian' for the Teen Choice Awards. I'm honored. I never realized y'all thought I was a teenager."
"Just cause I'm doing #DWTS [Dancing with the Stars] doesn't mean I don't do movies. On the contrary - I do movies under the name Ryan Gosling. It's my acting name."
"Gideon & Harper are 9 months old today. Having a low key party. 400 people. Viper room. Slam dancing. Pitbull is performing. Should be dope."
@ActuallyNPH on his twins' birthday
"Sometimes as a comic, one makes a joke & sometimes the joke bombs... eating porkchop w my hands 4 a laugh - a bomb ..."
"Mapquest is such a dramatic name. 'Tell me, O Map Quest, how I doth get to the doughnut shop near Reggie’s house?'"
"Was at Royal Wedding but didn't go inside. Had same hat as Fergie's daughter."
"If someone melted cheese on my foot, I'd probably eat it."
"I would like to express my sincerest, most unadorned gratitude to the person or persons responsible for the sizing at Ann Taylor Loft."
"HI TWITTERS. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY."
@Oprah's first tweet
"ur caps r on, btw"
"Is there an app to translate what nail salon ladies are gossiping about when I'm there?"
"The booming voice of James Earl Jones announcing 'This is CNN' followed by coverage of Kim Kardashian's wedding is America in decline."
@SethMacFarlane, creator of Family Guy
"Do you think I am hip?"
"Poor Cher my ass!"
@cher in reply to @Wolfieeeee: "Poor @cher getting bullied by fans."
"Saw an article that said SAT reading scores are at their lowest ever. Would tell you more, but I couldn't comprehend any of it."
"How's married life, Behar?"
@Rosie O'Donnell to Joy Behar on her recent marriage to her longtime boyfriend
"Rose, it's the same as single life. It takes me awhile to get to know someone. 29 years in this case."
"British youths! Good luck with your A-levels, but don't take it too seriously. I've got none and still married a pop star."
@rustyrockets (Russell Brand) on his wife @katyperry (Katy Perry)
Want MORE? Check out our slideshow of must-watch new TV shows.
Don't miss out on MORE great features like this one! Click here to sign up for our weekly newsletter.
The Best New Multitasking Beauty Products
8 Tips For A Successful Reinvention
Brand Basics: The Four Must-Haves
Best of Spring Beauty Finds
10 Exhilarating Books to Ring in 2015
Carmen Ejogo Dresses to Take the Lead
Notable, Quotable and Just Plain Funny! December 2014/January 2015 Edition
Strike Gold: 10 New Beauty Products to Try
Julianne Moore's Power Plays
Make Over Your Closet: From Playing It Safe to Standing Out
Makeover Your Closet: From Casual to Polished
Make Over Your Closet: From Classic to Creative
Get Gorgeous Eyes at Any Age
Find Your Passion and Use It!
7 Fabulous Fragrances
Five Books With a Focus on Family
Holiday Wardrobe Essentials
Not-So-Plain Geometric Jewelry
10 New Books to Read
Notable, Quotable and Just Plain Funny! November 2014 Edition
Terms of Service |