Growing up & Finding Love at 53

by Beverly • Member { View Profile }

I am no expert in the dating or soul mate thingie, because I have made more 
mistakes in relationships and marriage than Elizabeth Taylor 
had husbands, or King Solomon had wives and Concubines. However what I have learned has been the best way for me and I pray for others too. My stumbling block has become my stepping stone to encourage women of all ages. I share my mistakes (mountains of them) and how marvelous it is to surrender your life to Christ, allow him to love you, learn to like who he has made them to be,  not to compromise who you are as his daughter, and to wait on him to bring the right mate.  

This is a story of my mistakes and growing up at the age of 46 and finding REAL love at the tender age of 53. He is an Idaho Potatoe Head, and I a Mississippi Cotton Picker (for real).
French vanilla meets soy mocha (we are Seattleites what can I say).

Prior to meeting my husband, I had made a firm decision not to date 
anyone, that is until I met the man I would marry.  By no dating I mean 
non, nada, nunya, not a snow balls chance on a Mississppi hot day 
would I go out with anyone.  My reasoning for this was because after running all over the place with this guy, that one, and marrying 3 men who were self absorbed tool boxes, abusers, & womanizers I was sick and tired of me (you could say my picker broken).

I found that I didn't value myself at all, nor did I 
know how too at this lovely age.  You see I 
had been raped at the age of 14, and violated by a family member.  Shall I say my self 
worth was in the cesspool firmly before the age of 18, I was damaged goods.
However I was not aware that I was until my middle 40's (duhhh, ya think).  
My innocence was taken and in many ways I was stuck emotionally at the age of 14. 

I was very adult in being a wife and mother. I took good care of the spouses and 3 
of the 4 boys before and after divorcing (The oldest lived with my mother in 
Mississippi most of his life). I was very grown up but yet very child 
like. Neither marriages gave me the love I so desperatly craved, because the spouses were as broken
as I was.  The normal saying is that opposites attract, however quite the contrary.
Like attracts to like, spirit knows spirit. Here is an example; "when you place a magnet one
in each hand, spread your hands far apart, start to close your hands together, the magnets
begin to draw themselves together without much of your efforts". I was broken thus I attracted the same type of person to myself.   The marriages didn't fulfill me because I was an empty well longing to be filled, therefore the empty well grew deeper and wider because of the physical and emotional abuse.

Fianlly after the break up of my last marriage, I began to wake up and see how messed up I was. You see I had never focused on me nor did I know how.  So it was at that point, I said enough is enough. My prayer to God was asking him to help me, keep me, and help me learn to like myself. 
My recommitted faith in Christ helped me to stick to what i wanted and needed 
and that was time to heal, grow, and become whole. I had never 
focused on taking this step. I joined the choir, became a part of
the Intercessory Prayer team, and became a greeter. My focus changed and this was the beginning of
my healing.

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