Hormone Hell

by Cheryl Lauritzen • More.com Member { View Profile }

  But I would trade hot flashes and compulsive eating for the mood swings and crying at the drop of a hat, sometimes for no reason. For example: I was in my car at a red light and spotted a “Lost Dog” flyer posted on a telephone pole. I imagined this poor, little creature wandering the streets looking for his family – hungry, confused and lonely. (Crap, now I’m crying again!) I’ve always been sensitive about animals so this issue keeps coming up. But, now my reactions are over the top. If I see anything on TV depicting neglected or abused animals I will change the channel as fast as I can and run for the Oreos. So, I tend to avoid the Animal Planet channel unless it’s a program about people being attacked by animals. On TV, I’m more drawn to the classic movie channel. But even there I have to be careful. One Sunday I watched “An Affair to Remember” followed immediately by “The Way We Were” and ended up in a fetal position clutching a Kleenex box and a pint of Hagen Daz. This heightened sympathy for animals has also caused me to be very vocal about my feelings. (Not always a good thing). My neighbor owns a parrot who is also very vocal. For the most part, it doesn’t bother me. But, one morning the bird was repeatedly saying, “Hi…, Hi…, Hi…,” for a very long time. My neighbor, (who by the way, I believe to have serious mental issues), in turn repeatedly screamed for the poor parrot to shut up, (Hello it’s a talking bird, you idiot.) This battle of wits continued for several minutes until I couldn’t take it any longer and yelled out the window, “Say hi to your damn bird!”  Now, I’m sure that my neighbor thinks I’m the one with the mental problem, which ironically can be confused with menopause.  
  It’s while in my car, as well, that I feel strongly about voicing my opinions. I didn’t used to yell at other drivers or pedestrians. I live in Los Angeles and the fear of being shot is not unrealistic. But now, I seem to be channeling my inner Don Rickles. I was driving on a busy street recently when all traffic stopped because two self-absorbed, witless teenagers idly walked diagonally across the road! As I passed them I yelled out my window, “Use the crosswalk!” Then later that day, I came across a woman who was parked illegally in a school zone. I thought it my duty to let her know although I’m sure that she did. It was just too inconvenient to drive around until she did find a place.So as “kindly” as I could I said, “You know that’s not a parking space, right?” Okay, I didn’t do this but I thought about it!  
  My hearing may be affected as well. I don’t believe that it is actually one of the symptoms but something odd happened in a recent therapy session, (Been going for years, still neurotic.) My doctor and I were discussing how it seemed that I was receiving signs to take care of an on going health issue.She said, “Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something.” But what I heard, (seriously), was “Maybe the uterus is trying to tell you something.” I remember thinking that this was a strange thing to say, even for a therapist. But also thinking that this was somehow part of her technique I replied, “Are you saying that you’re the uterus?” (Can you say mother issues?) 

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