What’s the stuff that dreams are made of? For one contingent of scientists, these nighttime narratives are simply a random reliving of your day’s events. But other researchers believe that the tales provide a greater value: They help advance the story of your life.

“Dreams have to do with discovering and anticipating identity changes,” explains Monique Lortie-Lussier, PhD, an adjunct professor of psychology at the University of Ottawa in Canada. “They help disclose who we are at different points in our lives.” And as you mature, she says, so do your dreams.

With university colleagues, Lortie-Lussier is conducting a groundbreaking analysis of dreams recorded by 334 women ages 12 to 80. The research provides the most comprehensive look yet into how women’s dreams can shift over time.

The New Assertiveness
Lortie-Lussier’s research has unearthed intriguing differences among the generations. The key finding: “What changes as women grow older is the way we deal with situations.”

From age 25 through 39, for example, women in the Ottawa study often report dreaming that they are grappling with some sort of threat. Pursued by unknown predators or struggling with deteriorating friendships, they experience anxiety, fear and a sense of failure. But after 40, women become more powerful in their dreams. Their nighttime narratives show them more in control than they have ever been, with an ability to overcome troubling fears and to change bad luck to good.

“They fight for their own turf,” says Lortie-Lussier, who points out that women ages 45 to 55 are especially likely to stand their ground or stage a confrontation in their dreams. In fact, women in this age group are nearly twice as likely as younger women to play the aggressor. 

The researcher theorizes that this change mirrors what’s happening in women’s real-world lives. “This is the period when a woman becomes her own person and grows more assertive,” she notes. With her career peaking and her children likely to be grown, a woman may feel especially strong.

Lortie-Lussier gives this hypothetical example of how a plot might change for a woman: Suppose that for years she has dreamed about strangers invading her bedroom and violating her privacy in some deep way, a sequence that often left her upset when she awakened. But around the time she turns 45, she starts behaving differently in the dream. Now she confronts the interlopers, shouting, “What do you want?” and “Go away!” And when she wakes up, she feels relieved.

Is there a connection between this new assertiveness and midlife hormonal changes? Possibly. Depression and insomnia, two conditions that often become more frequent during the menopausal transition, are known to speed up the production of rapid eye movements (REMs), which occur during the stage most closely associated with dreams. “Generally speaking, if you have more intense REM periods, there will be more activity and emotionality in your dreams,” says Joseph De Koninck, PhD, director of the sleep laboratory at the University of Ottawa.

Going Gentle Into the Night
When some women pass age 55, however, their dreams take another turn, according to Lortie-Lussier’s research. “At that point, aggressiveness decreases decisively,” she says.

The dreams of women over 55 may reflect what evolutionary biologists call the grandmother hypothesis. The theory is that with reproduction finished, women adopt a new focus: securing the future of their grandchildren (and their genetic line). Women without children are just as likely to sense this generational imperative and may, for example, dream about teaching.

In this late-midlife group, “wisdom themes emerge—dreams of imparting lessons to younger generations. There is a commitment to ensuring the welfare of children,” says Patrick McNamara, PhD, director of the Evolutionary Neurobehavior Laboratory at the Boston University School of Medicine.

Backward Bound
After we reach 65, Lortie-Lussier says, memories of the past increasingly surface. “Retrospective dreams going back to early adulthood occur more frequently in this age group than in any other,” she notes.