The Momma-Pausal

by Gina McNew • More.com Member { View Profile }

One of my favorite quotes by the late Erma Bombeck is, “I’m trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old to drive a car will occur in the same week.”

I thought for certain my children would be grown and gone before I entered menopause. To both of our surprise, this is not the case. I have recently come to the understanding that there are two stages in a woman’s life when she can completely empathize with an animal’s ability to eat their young…their children’s pre-teen years and our menopausal ones.

When it became apparent that perhaps I was entering in to peri-menopause my oldest daughter told me she would rather move out then live with my forthcoming mood swings. I guess I should have been offended, but I was too lost in the blissful thought of making over her soon-to-be vacant bedroom. Eventually her words did settle in about the time I was measuring for new drapes and I couldn’t help but think back on her proclamation. She didn’t want to live with my mood swings? Let’s see…I was there for her terrible twos, cranky fours, pubescent adolescent years, her PMS, the rebellious teenage phase and now my moods were going to be an issue? Well pardon me, but could someone please pass the salt?

Fortunately for the both of us, she has moved on to her own place. Unfortunately, her brothers have been left to fend for themselves with The Momma-Pausal. Like most males however they remain completely oblivious to my mood swings and deflect sarcasm with the precision of a ninja warrior. As long as there is food on the table and a shelf full of video games, they pay about as much attention to my pan rattling as they do the over flowing trash can. As to my daughter…karma and heredity is a bitch. We’ll survive this like we survived all the other growth spurts and be stronger for having had the experience. With any luck she too will be a Momma-Pausal some day.

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