We Hear You! Letters from Our December 2011/January 2012 Issue

MORE • Editors

Now that my sons are 16 and 18 (my older son is in college in CT) we can laugh about some of my "bad mommy" stories. I got through a lot of gaffes (a bag of tortilla chips for the required homemade component of the Spanish class lunch) by telling the boys straight up that "Mom's not perfect." One my less proud moments: We missed so many ortho appointments that the doctor told my son that he could have had his braces off two years earlier had we made the required check-ups. (At the time, in a very stressed schedule, the trips to the orthodontist were always the "disposable" appointment.) Letting myself off the hook a little by acknowledging my imperfection made me feel better and today the boys are happy, well-adjusted, and both have beautiful teeth!

More is doing such a good job with its online presence. I find myself always linking to your site - such good takeaway for my day, too.
--Margaret Maggard

I love that Queen Latifah is on your cover this month! She is one of my favorite actresses, crossing into all genres, and celebrating women as a whole. She is undoubtedly a woman of style and substance. Thank you for having her on your cover and celebrating her success!
--Keisa Williams, San Marcos, CA

My name is Cindy, and I too had a "great mother moment" myself just recently, actually. Let's begin with a short run down of who I am. A happily divorced mother of three, and unfortunately unemployed currently. My freedom, (and an overdrawn bank account), allows me much time to ponder my next move. And also, time to peruse tons of great books at Barnes and Noble, and read More magazine. I just turned 39, and although I usually feel like 12 on a good day, maybe I also, have more substance. Along with infinite words of wisdom to share with my 13 year old, who happily accepts my advice...(rolling eyes).

Well here goes my story: It was about two weeks ago, and I had returned home from running errands, the ever exciting supermarket, and my weekly trip to the bookstore, etc. Often, I go there to read books and articles for free, which suits my budget perfectly.

My 11 year old walks in the door and she is greeted her with the usual: "how was everything at school today?'. She replied with: "Good mom, Phoenix is upstairs". Phoenix is my seven year old son. "What is he doing upstairs?” I asked her, "His bus did not pull up yet, he gets home after you?", I asked in confusion.

When I went upstairs to my neighbor’s apartment, she had informed me that it was a half day at school. Oh my God! My mouth dropped and probably my face also with embarrassment. "I had no idea, and expected him at the regular dismissal time.” I said. Then I went on to apologize profusely, and she told me that it was okay because she was at home waiting for her son also (like a good mother).

Apparently, this school does not believe in reminder notes, like a previous school my son attended, which was an enormous help.
Everything is run off of the Calendar. Which is what my neighbor told me, although I did not realize that it had to be checked every day. My gracious neighbor had her calendar responsibly hung on the back of the front door. This just added to my bad mother grief, because my calendar was underneath a pile of bills, and PTA cookie order forms!

Needless to say, my guilt felt like a horrible weight on my shoulders. But of course my son forgave me, because he got to play XBOX for two hours, and he was fine. A seven year old boy doesn't require a lot of explanation, he actually felt rewarded.

It's laughable now, and I have forgiven myself, but moments like those can be scary, and remind you of how much we as mothers are responsible for. Sometimes my closest friends ask me, "How do you handle everything?", and honestly, I don't know that I do "handle" it all. I just think that being really good at faking it with optimism, faith, and being able to laugh, even when things are a terrific mess is a true talent.

Hope that you enjoyed my story Lesley; I’ve got tons of 'em!! lol

First Published November 23, 2011

Share Your Thoughts!


Avis Evans01.22.2012

I just finished reading the article "To Tell The Truth" by Amy Bloom. This piece really spoke to me because I usually struggle with when to speak and when to be silent. When I'm silent it is always for one the two reasons mentioned:don't hurt feelings and avoid an angry confrontation. I have come to realize though that not speaking makes me angry and resentful and makes me pull back. I speak to the other person by writing my thoughts/feelings.

Alisa Sever01.11.2012

I agree with Rhonda re: some articles on second weddings. Info online is definitely lacking, and I'd like to know some other readers' stories on planning and hosting. It seems a second round is occuring for many of my friends in the 45-55 age range, happily so!

Maryann May12.18.2011

I love the cover of the December/January issue. Queen Latifah has never looked more radiant! What a terrific role model she is for young women...strong, passionate and determined.A true inspiration.

Sue 12.11.2011

Re: don't-miss SEASON'S SCREENINGS in Dec2011/Jan2012 issue. I realize there is only so much room but I was disappointed that Michelle Williams in "My week with Marilyn" wasn't mentioned as a holiday film. It opened Thanksgiving weekend and was excellent. What criteria is used in making the selections? I'm really going to be embarrassed if it was mentioned in MORE's previous issue. Thanks.

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