We Hear You! Letters from the May Issue

by the More.com Editors

Patricia Firestone, Seattle WA


I could barely contain my anger while reading "The Good Daughter" article in your May, 2011 issue.  I took better care with my dying Black Lab three months ago, a kind, painless quick death from her vet.  Why is it so hard to do this last kindness for our loved ones?  Both my parents feared a "bad end" and they both got it, weeks in a hospital, needles, tied down when necessary and finally, finally entrance to that 'sweet goodnight'.  I weep for Anne-Christine Strugnell's mother; when at the end she could not even enjoy a bit of her daughter's cooking or a sip of water because our so-called civilization deemed any other release, a sin.   No worse, a crime.   I am so ashamed of us all.
Linda McKee 66, Moreno Valley, California.


I appreciate this article from the point of view that the mentioned procedures are safer than the old cosmetic surgery procedures. What I am bothered about is the obsession with our outward appearance by more and more women in the U.S. I think we should be more concerned with healthy glowing skin and hair that comes from physical health and mental happiness. I am 57 years old and I feel like I will be judged by my appearance. I spend plenty on good skin products, make-up and exercise. But how will this compare to those who are spending thousands to make themselves look younger than they really are? And what about the value to society?  Isn’t $30,000 better spent on feeding the hungry than preventing the jowl problem? Can’t we get over ourselves?  Can’t we just be ourselves? Who are we trying to impress and why?  Please don’t add any fuel to this crazy obsession among women.
Judy Phifer, Littleton, CO


I guess I'm now one of the bread slices in that sandwich, yet it feels like just a short time ago I was the one juggling the stresses of launching children into adulthood, dealing with aged and ill parents from a long distance, managing a good career, being the good and supportive wife, and never feeling like I was doing the best for any of them.  Thanks for addressing a tough topic in your Editor's letter (May).  You asked for some guidance as to where to go for answers and one strong suggestion is to seek advice from the very people (those sandwich layers) who are dealing with these issues on a daily basis.  Those of us who are the top slice of bread pretty much know what we want, and expect, from those who are/will be the ultimate care-givers.  Sometimes, the answers may come as a huge surprise to those middle layers who often rush in to "take-over" without actually taking the time truly assess the whole picture and involve all parties in the decision making.  Of course, that isn't always possible in the cases of serious and sudden debility, or great long distances, etc.  One very important fact to address is the matter of guilt: Guilt as the motivator, the stimulus, the result of doing too little, too much, whatever.  Guilt should never be given too much power or else too many people suffer needlessly and waste energy that could otherwise be used for better things. Sorry for the long tirade.  I guess you really opened a Pandora's box, and I'm grateful for the change to share a few thoughts on this timely subject.  I love MORE for not being too timid to approach tough topics and to deal with them directly and thoroughly.
Regina Petsche, Moorestown, NJ


OMG!  Just read your editor's letter in the May issue.  While I'm not sure there is anything anyone can do, just knowing there are "Others" out there - even those we assume have it all together and life is a piece of cake - facing the same daily struggles trying to balance aging parents, kids, work and some semblance of a life, is strangely comforting! I think "Club Sandwich" is a great idea and look forward to more articles!

Susan Holloway, Jefferson City, MO


First Published May 4, 2011

Share Your Thoughts!


Jan Swart06.03.2011

FINALLY! I had almost given up on More Magazine. It has been boring and din't have articles of sustance for older women. I found the May issue VERY exciting. I am enjoying your profiles,love the male authors talking about the women in their lives. I still don't like some fashion. Women in real life don't pose like that, it makes them look quite silly,honestly. Kudos on the greater susbance than before!

PamBD 06.02.2011

I am a first time subscriber and, although this is petty compare to the thread below, it annoyed me to no end when the second ad in the magazine featured Taylor Swift hawking a new make-up line. What wrinkles could a 21 yr old possibly have to cover? Acne, maybe. I would never buy make-up based on how it made a 21 yr old look...40 or 50, maybe, but not someone younger than my own daughter.
I subscribe to very few magazines but decided to try MORE because it seemed to actually contain content that I was interested in.
I realize that every advertising dollar is important, but you would think that both the editor and advertiser would try to target their market appropriately.
Again, I realize this is a petty comment, but it was something that smacked me right in the face as I opened my first issue of MORE. I felt like I was looking at one of the many magazines that target the younger set.
In all fairness, I was probably a little more sensitive than most due to my marketing background and perhaps the fact that I'm feeling my age lately, but, nonetheless, I was disappointed.

Margot Frankel05.24.2011

This does not have to do with the may issue but the More reinvention convention. And it's a nitpicky thing but it bugs me. Your finance editor--who I assume is supposed to be "detail-oriented", spelled the More Magazine EIC's name wrong in a Tweet. I know, get a life, right? But when journalists--who make a lot of $$$ to be accurate and informed--make these kind of bonehead mistakes, it makes me question everything else she says, does, writes, etc. She's made other bonehead spelling errors on her Tweets--twice the names of EICs of the magazines she supposedly reads, other sports figures, etc. I mean, come on. I knew it was Lesley and not Leslie. She doesn't know how her boss spells her name?
I no longer will read More Magazine for accurate information about such a detailed topic as my fiances. I will stick to Money magazine--the mag that fired your personal finance "guru" (ugh! and please retire that awful demeaning term...!

I'm thrilled all of you cared enough to post your comments here. Thanks for participating. I would like to clarify, however, why More does a piece like the "Great Awakening of the Mommy Patriots" at all. We at More feel we would like to represent the movement and accomplishment and challenges of all women--not just women from one political spectrum. We do not judge. We present movement as news and you the reader get to decide if that is news. Just because we report on something doesn't mean we think all of our readers believe it. It is merely something to think about. Ironically, our more conservative readers spend lots of time hammering us for being too liberal! Please also note we try very very hard to be even handed throughout the year.

mary marcus05.15.2011

Mommy Patriots
I am also disappointed and offended in this one sided piece. As a 61 year old women, I have supported women's right issues from the start. When we send women to represent us in the political arena, let's be sure that they're knowledgeable of American history and are critical thinkers who don't get there information only from Fox news.
As for the economic mess and health care issues, look back at the last 25 years. It sounds like another case where dogma has replaced facts. The fact is the attack on healthcare is an attack on this country's prosperity. Insurance companies, which are one of only two industries that is exempt from anti-trust protections, always did fine making 5% profit on healthcare until the Reagan years. Today insurance companies make up to 50% profit while still maintaining the right to deny coverage, even after people paid into the system for decades. The Congressional Budget office says in 10 years the healthcare reform act will shave $130 Billion from the deficit. If healthcare is left unreformed, as every Republican administration has done, in the same 10 years healthcare will grow of 25% of every dollar earned. In 1985, the top 12% owned 33% of this nations' wealth. Today the top 1% owns 40% of America. Why isn't the Tea Party enraged by the redistribution of American wealth? Give tax breaks to the rich and they'll create jobs over seas. This one sided political portrayal of American women has been such a disappointment that I'm canceling my subscription.

Kathleen Hollstrom,
It is rare that I read as narrow minded a narrative as yours. You have *no* idea how progressive women live or think. Actually, I do not delegate myself as God, and do not presume to judge my fellow man.
I don't know about all of the women you reference, but Nancy Pelosi is a mother of 5 and grandmother of many who realizes that she does not have the moral authority to make judgements on other women.
Many of us are also against abortion but do not presume to make that decision for another woman. Who died and made you God?
Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are not leaders. They are inciters of hate in no way representative of the average American woman. How laughable.
Good luck......

Teresa, you are not the only one offended by this piece. The author had a chance to present a valid portrayal of the Tea Party women and blew it big time.
I was just left with a bad taste in my mouth....not because I am a Progressive Democrat, but because the piece failed to explore what we may all have in common.
I have no problem with Republican women who are intelligent, rational, and happen to disagree with me (mostly on social issues). I DO have a problem with people like Paylin who are willfully uninformed and think they know what is best for the rest of us.
Be prepared to be accused of "hatred" by the Tea Party devotees.
I agree with you on "Obamacare" as it is so called by the neocons. It may not be what we wanted ( I wanted Single Payer....oh my gosh, SOCIALISM!) but it is indeed a beginning to the accountability of the redundant middleman, Big Insurance.
I cannot for the life of me understad why so many lower middle class people vote against their best interests. I guess they are still hoping for that old "trickle-down" all the while people like $arah are laughing all the way bank.....

Teresa 05.08.2011

I am disturbed by your May issue. I thought MORE was about woman and all that we go through and experience and live with. I will never read another one of your magazines again. You chose to portray one view in your May issue regarding woman, politics and health care and did not choose to portray a balanced view of what life may be like for some women. While I did not agree with your article "The great awakening" views I did expect that you would provide a balanced viewpoint. You chose not to. So...let me tell you how I feel...I am a working mom. My son is age 21..not a college student. He works full-time for a company that does not provide health care. He has epilepsy. I pay $850 a month just to cover him under COBRA healthcare until the obama healthcare rules can apply to him-the rules will finally apply in September of this year. I work two jobs to provide this coverage to provide for my son. Your article indicates that woman who read your magazine believe that obamacare is bad, Sarah Palin is right and conservatism is right. You are somewhat clueless on the real state of woman and how they think if this is what your magazine represents. One.. Sarah Palin is not intelligent and makes real women look like we are stupid.Two..Obamacare may not be the best answer but for those who cannot get healthcare (believe me it is scary!) it is a welcome respite. Please understand that whether I am a mom, a woman or a More reader I expect that what I read will reflect real woman and the numerous challenges voiced and unvoiced that we feel deeply about.Your unbalanced portrayal has made it impossible for me to ever feel I can relate to your magazine again. Real women have different views but unless they can be discussed and disected we will never be able to truly embrace the many varied viewpoints that make woman, life and the decisions we make valid. Shame on you for not being willing to open discussions on what we all face..good, bad or in disagreement.

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