We Hear You! Letters from Our November 2011 Issue

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MORE • Editors

There is no more room in our society to further glorify infidelity and adultery. There are many reasons that these acts are wrong other than the obvious; immorality. Once discovered, the pain is so wrenching it takes over the victims' lives, and spreads like a virus to family and friends. Lives are affected in ways that the guilty parties have no idea. Keep in mind, if an affair with a married person seems appealing, there are a lot people close to you who are "going down" and will "get screwed," with you.
--Yvette, Orange Park, FL

I really enjoyed Linda Yellin's "Meeting New Friends: What Really Works" right up until the third to last word: buy. As in, "buy a dog." Buy? Until every shelter, abandoned or unloved pet has a loving home, Ms. Yellin, please think "adopt" instead!
--KarinI don't read just any magazine. I just won't. Even though I am 31 years old with a 6-year old son & bills to pay - I refuse to read very many "grown-up" magazines. I am too mature for the young adult magazines for girls still wanting to take sex quizzes and learn their love style and not ready for magazines that focus on perfecting dinner party meals that will please their husbands.
 
Yes, I'm still homeroom mom and I take my son to Cub Scouts and to the zoo and help him with his homework. But after dropping my son off to his friend's house for a sleepover or to his re-married father's house for a weekend visit, I go for margaritas and go clubbing sometimes with my friends. I look much younger than my years and still have a great time.

I started getting MORE magazine and was a tad apprehensive. Was this going to be another "How to Be a Perfect Wife & Mother" magazine? One for women approaching middle-age? I couldn't have been more wrong. I have been completely engrossed since the first issue.

I just got the November issue and read "A Date with the Man Who Got Away", and was BLOWN away. Such truth, emotion and realism wrapped into a story that most women can understand. I then read "The Mother-Daughter Tattoo" and was touched.

I'm looking forward to the longest, meaningful relationship I've had since my divorce....I think I love you MORE.
--Meghan

I read Joanne Kaufman's memoir in your November issue and absolutely felt her brave and daring story. She didn't glorify or make herself a victim. She is one of hundreds of women that have been in this situation and probably feel ashamed. She made me feel human for being in the same situation 16 years ago. Although I love my husband and I am truly happy I have never felt my weight on my heart had been lifted but reading her story let me accept my past with a married man who did truly love and appreciate me. I felt I had to be ashamed of that but not anymore. My friend is also remarried now and is also happy. Both of us keep in touch w updates about our lives and we have moved on. We are truly happy for each other and will continue to hold each other in high regards. Thank you for being brave and allowing such a beautiful and raw story to be told.
--Elena Galindo

I am reading your editors letter in the November issue of More, the person who blew the doors off open for women wearing pants was not YSL, it was Katharine Hepburn.

She was the first woman to wear pants while lounging by the pool, to Hollywood parties and out in public. Not many people know that it is just one of those things I learned a while back and thought I would share with you.

Keep up the fantastic work for all us women over 40.

A devoted fan,
Donna Allen

My name is Julie Anne Ramos and I am a huge fan of your magazine even though I am 7 years away from 40. I just find your articles and your features so well written and so much more gratifying than some other fashion magazines out there.
I am writing to you to let you know that the article in The More November issue “Friendships that feed our Souls " touched so close to my heart.

I have a special friend and mentor in Marilyn McCoo . You may know her name from Hosting the music variety show Solid Gold in the 80's , 7 time Grammy award winner , the musical group the 5th dimension and singing with her husband of 42 years Billy Davis JR.

First Published October 31, 2011

Share Your Thoughts!

Comments

Lynn Lunger01.05.2012

Wow! I know I'm late to this, but I read "A Date with the Man that Got away" while waiting in the doctor's office, for not surprisingly, depression.
Joanne Kaufman’s article was read by me with horrid fascination, as I hoped it would be a denouncement of past mistakes, or at least profess regret. I am still recovering from my 42 year-old husband's affair with a 26 year-old co-worker. I am still with my husband, but it has been a very, very difficult time. We have an 8 year-old and a 12 year-old who never knew about the affair, but sure know that Mom has been a wreck for the last year.
It may be mean-spirited, but I hope Joanne gets to have her world and foundations rocked in the same manner as so many of us have had. I hope that goofy grin she gets on her face when her husband enters the room is forever wiped away. She has that grin only because her beliefs, and confidence, and surety have not been shattered.
Boo hiss!
Lynn

11.21.2011

There was a letter to Dear Abby once asking what the definition of maturity was. The answer was that maturity is the ability to control our impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will affect ourselves and others before we act. Clearly Joanne Kaufman, her affair partner, and others like them are not mature individuals. The fact that she helped dissolve a marriage with young children doesn't seem to be of any interest to her, just knowing that she stills matters does. It is disturbing that MORE printed such a self-absorbed, all-about-me article. Will you have an article from the wife about how she put her life back together after her husband found his "soul mate" while he was married to her? Reading about the strength of that woman would fit MORE better than the story about the selfish woman. Or maybe a story about the woman who fell for a married man and ran in the other direction! As it is, though, the November issue should be called LESS.


Joanne Kaufman's article describes a narcissistic, insensitive woman who gave no thought to the heartache her affair caused the man's wife and children. I'm disappointed MORE chose to publish such drivel. MORE encourages women over 40 to have a positive self image...unfortunately some women are CRUEL to each other. Shame on them. Joanne hasn't learned anything as she doesn't regret her affair

Jianni 11.14.2011

The article by Joanne Kaufman was disturbing, to say the least. Just because he made her feel good (and vice versa so it seems) is NO reason to pursue a relationship with a married person, period! There are lots of people "out there" who can be one's soul mate, as evidenced by the fact that she met someone else and got married. The pain and devastation of her married lover's wife is overwhelming and continuing. Infidelity completely changes the betrayed partner's life. I can only hope Joanne does not have to go through this if her current husband decides to do the same thing with another woman who thinks he is her "soul mate." Only then will she truly understand the pain she caused. Just because she wanted something does not mean she should have pursued it. She should have and could have ended it, even though he said "he would love her till he died." They were both in a fog of unreality. How could they know they loved each other when they hadn't shared any of life's less than ideal moments together. Ugh, Ugh, Ugh - this kind of thing gets too much glory. For those who wrote relating to her, here's hoping the same thing doesn't happen to you.

Peggy Grimmius11.10.2011

I really enjoy most of the well written, useful articles in MORE. I find it inspiring and exhilarating to read about women who have great ideas and accomplish so much while contributing to humanity. I am disturbed however, by the Nov. issue article by Joanne Kaufman. From the tenor throughout the article, there is the sense that somehow having sex with a married man is inevitable if the attraction is there. I don't judge Ms. Kaufman personally. But her writing is dishonest, selfish, and insensitive, if not just plain juvenile. When we take what we want, we become desensitized towards those it affects as well as to how it affects us personally. The topper was going back for more... just to know that "I still matter". It isn't okay. It's creepy.

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