We Hear You! Letters from Our November 2011 Issue

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Marilyn is like a second Mother to me but she is also a female soulmate. I am in Los Angeles 3,000 miles away from my family (who I miss very much) I am a wardrobe stylist and I love my job so much but when I first moved here 13 years ago I was lost. I met the wrong people and was taken advantage of very much. I came from a very sheltered loving background and grew up on the North Shore of Long Island. But I moved to LA after college to follow my dreams to be an actress and break in sports journalism too. I was a ranked tennis player growing up.

Anyway, I believed everyone was good natured and boy I was wrong. I decided to go back to school and study fashion and it has been the best choice. However, I still felt alone and only had surface friends who just wanted to party, etc.

I met Marilyn McCoo when a former roommate who turned out to be a not very nice guy was interviewing Marilyn and her husband for a TV special. He promised Marilyn she could have a makeup artist for the on camera shots... She even offered to hire her own but he said he would provide one. Well, he did not hire a makeup artist for her. She was not happy. He called me and summoned me back home for an emergency (that was where he was shooting the interview.) I walked in the house to fins a bunch of people including Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis sitting in the interview chair and she looked not happy. My roommate asked if I could do her makeup, well I am not a makeup artist I am a stylist. Anyway they finished the interview like pros without makeup and walked out. Marilyn and Billy saw how upset I was so they invited me out to dinner. The rest is history. We just clicked and now I have two of the most amazing friends I could ever have prayed for and I style their entire wardrobe for their live shows. They are on a huge tour in England right now with Sr cliff Richard and many other artists.

It is amazing that we are over 30 years apart in age but we just click. Marilyn has taught me so much about having faith and to always give back. She is The Head of the Board of The Los Angeles Mission and recently organized the 75th anniversary of the mission to honor Kirk Douglas and his wife Anne who started the foundation. Two years ago Marilyn was at a board meeting at The Mission and slipped fell on a concrete floor and shattered her leg and had a titanium rod put in. The Dr said she may never perform again the break was too bad. But through her faith and strength she made a full recovery (marveling her Doctors and Physical Therapist) and is now performing all over the world.

The duo is still recording and performing and looks so beautiful. But they are also regular people who are constantly giving back and are just regular people. We have so much fun together and they have helped me through tough time like when my father died and lost loved ones in The 9/11 attacks. I also have juvenile diabetes and they help me deal with that struggle.
My six-year-old niece loves to listen to them sing and loves to watch videos of them on YouTube. She said she loves Marilyn over Taylor Swift. She has all her friends listening to them and watching old Solid Gold shows on YouTube.

I know Marilyn is not" A list" -- her words ---but she is still so beautiful has the most amazing voice and is a wonderful person. They sold out the Hard Rock casino over the summer.
I would not have accomplished all that I have without my family and without my very special friendship with Marilyn McCoo.

I am so proud of her.

I hope that someday if you do a where are they now Article you would feature Marilyn... She is not in the abyss she is alive and well and trying to make the world a better place. Oh and a huge fan of your magazine-- she is the one who introduced me to it and asked if I would give it a chance. :-)

Also she is not aware that I am writing-- I was inspired when I read the article with Katie lee and Paula Dean.

I know the chances of you reading this email are very slim but I just wanted to let you know that you inspired me to share with you about my very special relationship with a very special amazing woman.

I am enclosing a few pics and a video clip so you can see how great she is still.

Thank you so much for your wonderful work, :-)
--Julie Anne Ramos

First Published October 31, 2011

Share Your Thoughts!


Lynn Lunger01.05.2012

Wow! I know I'm late to this, but I read "A Date with the Man that Got away" while waiting in the doctor's office, for not surprisingly, depression.
Joanne Kaufman’s article was read by me with horrid fascination, as I hoped it would be a denouncement of past mistakes, or at least profess regret. I am still recovering from my 42 year-old husband's affair with a 26 year-old co-worker. I am still with my husband, but it has been a very, very difficult time. We have an 8 year-old and a 12 year-old who never knew about the affair, but sure know that Mom has been a wreck for the last year.
It may be mean-spirited, but I hope Joanne gets to have her world and foundations rocked in the same manner as so many of us have had. I hope that goofy grin she gets on her face when her husband enters the room is forever wiped away. She has that grin only because her beliefs, and confidence, and surety have not been shattered.
Boo hiss!


There was a letter to Dear Abby once asking what the definition of maturity was. The answer was that maturity is the ability to control our impulses, to think beyond the moment, and consider how our words and our actions will affect ourselves and others before we act. Clearly Joanne Kaufman, her affair partner, and others like them are not mature individuals. The fact that she helped dissolve a marriage with young children doesn't seem to be of any interest to her, just knowing that she stills matters does. It is disturbing that MORE printed such a self-absorbed, all-about-me article. Will you have an article from the wife about how she put her life back together after her husband found his "soul mate" while he was married to her? Reading about the strength of that woman would fit MORE better than the story about the selfish woman. Or maybe a story about the woman who fell for a married man and ran in the other direction! As it is, though, the November issue should be called LESS.

Joanne Kaufman's article describes a narcissistic, insensitive woman who gave no thought to the heartache her affair caused the man's wife and children. I'm disappointed MORE chose to publish such drivel. MORE encourages women over 40 to have a positive self image...unfortunately some women are CRUEL to each other. Shame on them. Joanne hasn't learned anything as she doesn't regret her affair

Jianni 11.14.2011

The article by Joanne Kaufman was disturbing, to say the least. Just because he made her feel good (and vice versa so it seems) is NO reason to pursue a relationship with a married person, period! There are lots of people "out there" who can be one's soul mate, as evidenced by the fact that she met someone else and got married. The pain and devastation of her married lover's wife is overwhelming and continuing. Infidelity completely changes the betrayed partner's life. I can only hope Joanne does not have to go through this if her current husband decides to do the same thing with another woman who thinks he is her "soul mate." Only then will she truly understand the pain she caused. Just because she wanted something does not mean she should have pursued it. She should have and could have ended it, even though he said "he would love her till he died." They were both in a fog of unreality. How could they know they loved each other when they hadn't shared any of life's less than ideal moments together. Ugh, Ugh, Ugh - this kind of thing gets too much glory. For those who wrote relating to her, here's hoping the same thing doesn't happen to you.

Peggy Grimmius11.10.2011

I really enjoy most of the well written, useful articles in MORE. I find it inspiring and exhilarating to read about women who have great ideas and accomplish so much while contributing to humanity. I am disturbed however, by the Nov. issue article by Joanne Kaufman. From the tenor throughout the article, there is the sense that somehow having sex with a married man is inevitable if the attraction is there. I don't judge Ms. Kaufman personally. But her writing is dishonest, selfish, and insensitive, if not just plain juvenile. When we take what we want, we become desensitized towards those it affects as well as to how it affects us personally. The topper was going back for more... just to know that "I still matter". It isn't okay. It's creepy.

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