I have noticed the happier I am the happier the kids are. The less I complain about mundane things the less stressed my kids are. I have to keep in mind it is never too late, my kids are still young enough to be ok from my divorce. If they can see how happy I am they will know that I needed to leave their dad on that reason alone. I am letting my playful side come out slowly as to not freak myself out too much. I hope as I let myself become more comfortable being relaxed and not so uptight I will be more fun to be around. I know my kids love doing stuff with me and we will continue to spend fun weekends together but I will make sure I am more laid back. I may take them skiing this weekend and we enjoy doing that together. I can enjoy watching them ski down the mountain knowing I gave them lessons when they were younger and have benefited from that. My daughter is not cautious and my son is, yet they both get down the mountain and feel a huge sense of accomplishment. I remember when I was younger and being able to ski any trail was awesome. My kids have learned to woods ski which is called glade skiing at the mountains. That takes an enormous amount of confidence and I have watched them go from beginner glades to expert. I am as proud of them as they are. I still have trouble in the expert glades and prefer the beginner but I will take on the expert just to keep them smiling that they have a mom that can get through them! I look forward to them smiling more often because I have become a better mom.