When my husband and I fight he expects a full, sincere apology where I kneel before him and proclaim, loudly, “I was wrong. You were right. I’m sorry.” After 25 years of marriage the man feels it’s high time he was right about something. I’m sincerely sorry he feels this way.
Growing up, like most kids, I witnessed some of my parents’ arguments. Looking back I can’t recall what they fought about, but I can recall clearly how they made up.
When one of them was ready to call a truce and makeup they would turn on the stereo (a medieval musical apparatus) and play their song, ‘I Can’t Stop Loving you,’ by Mr. Ray Charles. This song said, “I’m sorry. I still love you.”
Looking back I realize I was lucky to have a front row seat to the all important life lesson on how to make a marriage work.
From this lesson I learned married people fight. I learned it doesn’t matter who says, “I’m sorry,” first so long as someone say it.
I learned every marriage has its ups and downs and a fight does not mean divorce is eminent. I now realize I was lucky to be a spectator to the fights and most of all the resolutions as unfortunately to many children witness the fights and never the resolutions.
Having a ringside seat to such events forms a foundation from which a child takes their cue from their role models on what it takes to be a grown-up.
A child lives what they learn and at the core of every lesson is the parent; if you’re lucky two parents who deeply love each other; parents who teach you that sometimes ‘I’m sorry’ is said in song.