When some doctors make mistakes people can die. When reproductive endocrinolgists make mistakes, rarely does anybody dies but babies can be genetically mixed with the wrong people’s sperm or eggs—or the wrong embryo could find it’s way into your uterus. The fact is that most of the time, mistakes don’t happen. You don’t hear about the correct leg being amputated—that is not news—and it happens every day. But cut off the wrong leg and it makes big head lines. It is the same thing with reproductive medicine and when the headlines hit the news it strikes fear into every couple that is going through IVF.
It’s the biggest fear that most of us have. You see, we allow our eggs and sperm to leave our bodies and disappear into a laboratory and we go on trust that it is an embryo created from what we have given that is returned to our bodies. And there is always a little bit of fear that the lab didn’t get it right. So when a story like the Sean and Carolyn Savage’s hits the head lines, many of us with IVF kids feel our stomach lurch.
You see, they got another couple’s embryo and they are pregnant. The Savages are a religious couple, and decided to go through with the pregnancy and return the baby to its intended parents. They are brave and generous. They are also not releasing the names of the clinic, or the doctors involved. Or the name of the intended parents. Carolyn has become an unintentional gestational surrogate. A woman who wanted more children put instead will be placing a baby in someone else’s arms. Just thinking about it makes me cry with the tragedy of this situation and the generosity of this woman.
In the end, a baby will be born. How he got here was a mix up yet reading the Savages story, it is clear that he has been surrounded by love since the beginning and will be placed in grateful, waiting arms to be continued to be loved like no other. One woman’s loss—a gift to another. The loving compassion in this is simply overwhelming.
In the big fat mess of all of this love and a baby was put first. Not much more to say after that.
This article was written by Pamela Madsen also known as the Fertility Advocate.
Director of Public Education of East Coast Fertility. Founder of the American Fertility Association
Originally published on FertilityTies