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Look! There Is a...

Look! There Is a Buttloaf!

Look! There is a buttloaf! Yep right there for everyone to see. Pointing and laughing is not beneath me and I do that every opportunity I can. Soon you will too.

Every day for months, I have sat in the parking lot waiting to pick up my daughter from high school and I have seen these teenage boys with their butts hanging out over the top of the pants. Now, I asked my daughter why they do this and she is just as mystified as I am. It is just strange. No wonder there are never pants that fit me in the store—these skinny teenage boys are wearing them safety pinned to t-shirts so the crotch is between their knees. They wobble like penguins across the parking lot.

When someone sees purposeful bizarre behavior it simply begs to be made fun of. On the way home I mentioned to my daughter that these boys with their hiney hanging out were simply hysterical. Those baggy and puffy boxers look like they have a loaf of bread stuffed in the back of their pants … or rather it is hanging out the back of those pants. Let’s face it … they have no butt so it may be an actual loaf of bread for all we know. It was at this moment that the term ”Buttloaf” was born!

The human female is subjected to all sorts of strange character affiliations based on all sorts of imagination. Who among us has heard the dreaded “muffin top” or the “camel toe” reference uttered … or cringed in fear at that thought? We all have had those nightmares due to mere whispers of “cottage cheese thighs” and the dreaded “chair-butt” syndrome. To be fair—when one is suffering from any of these afflictions it is usually out of ignorance or denial. It is rarely purposeful bizarre fashion disasters … unlike BUTTLOAF Boy!

There is buttloaf everywhere. It is hilarious to see a kid inflicted with ”Buttloaf Syndrome” trying to crawl into a hyped-up truck while trying to hold his pants up.  Watching them on skate boards is a huge point and laugh moment.  Today we saw two “Buttloaf” boys running to catch a bus. One lost his backpack while trying to get a hold onto his pants, the other fell as he could not get his leg into the bus as it was hampered by the crotch of his pants!

We all yelled “BUTTLOAF” and yes … it was hilarious! It is hysterically hilarious! Please explain it to me and we will quit pointing and laughing. At this point it became a game of “Find the Buttloaf” and while in a crowd, “Where is Buttloaf?” We played the game all day as we shopped for groceries, and did errands. Buttloaf is everywhere.

We had a wonderful day until we went and picked up my thirteen-year-old stepson. When he came out to the car we yelled “BUTTLOAF!” Why? Because there he was—my sweet stepson and he has Buttloaf. He got really mad, and I was sincerely sorry that he was mad...but when ya got Buttloaf … that is a voluntary affliction. I am hoping that he will pull his pants up before he falls and breaks his nose...because that would not be funny. A big red nose and baggy pants ... hmmm … isn’t that a clown?

Seriously, I just hope it never goes there because I will have to laugh. Who wouldn’t?

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