A lotus can grow in the most difficult environment, literally rising above a mucky ground. The lotus will flourish and outshine its surroundings. Lein Huah: Chinese for lotus flower. She is sassy like me, talks like me, snores like me, and all for that golden brown hair, looks like me. Our journey we have begun to embark on together started with a 9-pound baby, four stitches, and one blood transfusion—destined for challenge. So when “dead beat” left the picture, I knew it was only to help my little lotus flourish even more.
It gets tough to take the criticism for having a child out of wedlock, and being chastised for only being twenty-five with a three-and-a-half-year-old, but fuck ’em. Without the “dead beat” around, we make fewer mistakes and I’m the young, hip mom, who enjoys watching Monsters Inc. and remembers what it’s like to be a kid.
I am thankful everyday that I made the decision to be stupid, which led me to getting pregnant. Because at the end of the day, when everyone else is looking for meaning, my daughter teaches me—she is my meaning. Her perseverance, courage, and tolerance have become the very things I inspire to have. We take care of each other, and as she grows, I gain. When days are heavy I weep, and she waters me with love, and there is nothing sweeter than that.