Vodka was flowing and Marie kept up with the older kids, shot for shot. She was starting to feel dizzy but decided to try and control the situation so no one would suspect her of being drunk. At one point Marie decided that she would do dishes so that everyone thought she was strong enough to handle the liquor. As she was washing a glass, wet and slippery from the soap it slipped from her grasp and shattered. As she began picking up the pieces one became lodged in her wrist and she did not even flinch. Still in her effort to seem cool she would not admit defeat over the alcohol.
Quietly she slipped from the room, took out the glass and wrapped her wrist in a towel. Suddenly feeling very woozy and drunk, Marie decided it was time to lie down and sleep off the haze of the Vodka. It would have been an okay plan except for the fact that the bed she lay down on was a water bed! About an eternity later it seemed the room stopped spinning but in her haste to think that everything was fine she went to sit up. Big, big mistake. You can only imagine the vomiting that followed. Not one of her “friends’ came to check on her cut or if she was okay. She started to feel very lonely after all.
This is a true occurrence from my life. As, you may have guessed I am Marie and I did not learn my lesson that day. I continued on the destructive path to fit in with the cool kids. I had spent my whole life trying to make others happy and to like me. This was my way of having acceptance. At one point in my teenage years I had an amazing boyfriend who did not want me to drink or smoke. He cared enough about me that I saw the path I was taking and I stopped.
Thankfully I stayed strong for at that same time my Mom was going through addiction and went away to rehab for four months. I am grateful that I had someone believe in me and accept me for who I was and not who I tried to be.
I am a mother of two teenagers now and I tell them everything about my youth. I do not hide any of the ugliness with the hope that they will take it in their hearts and make the right choices. My daughter is nineteen and I am proud to say that she made it through those tumultuous years without a scratch. My son is soon to be fifteen and is still keeping his head in the right place. I thank God everyday for them and the fact that they are amazing individuals and learn from the sins of the mother and father.