My name is Kimberley. I jut turned thirty-five and I am eight weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are waiting until after we have the ultrasound to tell anyone the news. I am filled with stress and anxiety. We weren’t trying to conceive. Those first few days after getting the positive pregnancy test results are kind of a blur to me. I’m sure that I walked around like a zombie.
I’m a planner and compulsive list maker. It has been very hard for me to try to keep my focus on the first fourteen weeks (only six more to go). Plus, having made the decision to keep this a secret, I feel like I’m always trying to come up with plausible lies for my coworkers. I’ve switched to decaf, and I don’t think that my coworkers have noticed. Usually I would have a can of diet pop at lunch; now I try to have a juice—so far no one has questioned the change. But what actually causes me stress is the number of doctor appointments: one to confirm pregnancy, one to meet the OBGYN, one for the ultrasound, and my twelfth-week appointment, plus going for lab tests. I usually have one doctor appointment a year!
My one coworker that I have worked with for close to six years has noticed that I am blowing my nose a lot more (I’m off all allergy medications). I told her that I have decided to go for new allergy tests and can’t take any antihistamines for eight weeks before the tests (I think that helps explain the appointments, too.). It’s honestly killing me to lie. In fact, I’ve nearly told the boss a few times so he would understand why I had appointments. Realistically, no one has probably thought twice about it.
I classify that as an outside stressor. My biggest pregnancy stress at this point is that I’m worried that the pregnancy isn’t viable. We won’t know for sure that anyone is in there until the ultrasound at the end of April. Why am I worried about that? Unexpectedly so, I am not experiencing any morning sickness. My mom had horrible morning sickness throughout both of her pregnancies, plus I suffer from horrible motion sickness, so I had assumed that I would be throwing up for nine months. Realistically, I know that some women never get morning sickness; emotionally, I’m worried. My doctor offered to check my hormone levels to see if they are going up—now I have to explain two more trips to the medical lab!
I’m so anxious for the next six weeks to go by so I can finally tell my family and friends! We’re planning to tell our parents on Mother’s Day, and will announce to friends after that. So, until then, I will be venting my feelings to you. Thank you for being here.