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Princess Frank (or:...

Princess Frank (or: Sometimes a Tiara Is Just a Tiara)

My nephew is a moron.

This isn’t a judgment call. It’s just that he’s eleven and he’s a boy. Hence, he’s a moron.

This Halloween, he and a few friends thought it would be funny to dress up as girls. One of them, clearly the Vince Vaughan of the group, suggested they take it a step further and dress up as princesses.

“Yeah!” my nephew and his equally moronic friends agreed. “That’ll be funny! Heh-heh! We are so funny!”

And they did.

Well, what they didn’t take into account is that they are students at a very exclusive private school here in L.A. that prides itself on diversity and like 25 percent of the parents at the school are gay.

So last Friday, for the Halloween parade, my nephew and his three friends brought their princess gowns to school, the girls in the class swarmed around them to do their makeup (maybe they’re not such morons after all ...) and they fully cross dressed like they were attending a royal ball.

Then they joined the school parade.

The next thing my sister knows, she’s getting stopped by parent after parent talking about how great it is that her son and his friends feel comfortable expressing themselves. How proud she must be. Well, the parents at this school are powerful presences in media and talked to her about wanting to use the pictures of her son and his friends from the parade to help promote gay tolerance and support the anti-bullying movement. Which, obviously would be great, except for the fact that her son’s not an activist. He’s a moron. Next thing she knows, pictures of her son and his friends are being taken specifically for the school yearbook to show future potential students how free the policy is at the school and how children of all races, religions, and sexual orientation (keep in mind ... they’re eleven), are welcome and embraced at their school.

Which is great by the way. It’s fantastic that the school is open and encouraging. That’s exactly what I would want for my kids if I could afford it. Unfortunately, intolerance is all I can afford right now. I know because my daughter goes by the nickname “Bob” and every time someone new hears the nickname they ask me if she’s experiencing transgender issues. I answer, “She’s ten. But I’ll keep you posted.”

Here’s my point: tolerance is good. No wait, tolerance is great! But I find the general populations willingness to jump on a simple, completely unintentional action as the next big political statement, ridiculously telling of our time and totally hysterical.

I’m sure my wonderful nephew will have a lot to say one day. And he’ll say it beautifully.

But for now, as Freud said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Or in this case, a tiara is just a tiara.

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