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So Close

Baby Girl was so tired Saturday night making her a good candidate for some snuggle time. This is not always the case with Baby Girl.

On this night, however, she was quite content to be horizontal. And still.

I switched off the lights and hit play on her favorite night-night CD.

Babies snuggle quite differently than adults don’t you think?

With both arms wrapped tightly around my neck, she pressed her face full into my face.

Nose to nose, eyelash to eyelash.

I laid very still.

As the song played sweetly in the background, Baby Girl would randomly hum a line or two. The hallway light cast a glow on her face and I felt warm tears sliding down my cheeks. After a long, busy, and in her case, very tiring day, she was at peace. Finally.

She has grown so fast. Has it really been two years?

Her grip did not loosen even as she brushed my tears off her cheek.

Her little body began to seem heavier and her breathing deeper. I thought it might be safe to peel her arms away and also because given a few more minutes I would be asleep myself.

She stirred.

Without opening her eyes she whispered, “Not yet Mom, little bit longer.”

She didn’t have to ask me twice.

A miracle. A living, breathing, loving, little gift. Born out of love, and given by God to our family for His glory.

Her face never flinched from mine. Awkward as it would seem to two adults, she was most secure knowing that when my eyes blinked she could feel it. My tears shared both her cheeks and mine. We were just that close.

It occurred to me that she wanted it that way. Rest came as she pressed in tightly and held on.

I began to think that it must be that way for our Father in heaven. How He must long for His children to look full in His wonderful face!

To see our reflection in His eyes. To press in so close that we feel the warmth of His exhale.

Have you ever been so close to another face that you can feel their approach, even with your eyes closed, just by the warmth in the air.

Such was the case with Baby Girl. With both our eyes closed—I could tell when she was facing me simply by the warmth exchanged between us.

This was a holy moment for me. God met me on the floor of a dimly lit pink bedroom.

And even with Celine singing Miracle in the background I could hear God’s voice loud and clear.

“Hold on to Me just like this, My Child, and you too will find rest. Press in so close that you will feel My life being breathed into yours. So close that when you turn away, even for a moment, you will notice. So close that our heartbeats begin to sound the same. So close that our eyes reflect each other. So close that we share tears. Close … ”

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