Things I learned as a child:
* Acquiring a taste for burnt food usually nets you the first and last batch of cookies all to yourself.
* Sisters can’t keep secrets.
* Grown-ups always believe the first one to tattle.
* You have twelve years of school to learn everything you need to know about life.
* Dads are smarter than moms.
* The best meal includes a fried product, a baked product, gravy, and dessert.
* Being a kid is hard because you have to follow all your parents’ rules.
* Being a parent is easy, you just have to watch your kids grow up.
* Boogers make good glue when hanging pictures on the wall.
* Moms smell good.
* Babies smell bad.
* Santa Claus doesn’t really skip the bad kids, he just holds on to the presents until February.
* Chocolate is a good investment.
Things I’ve learned as a parent:
* Kids will eat anything if they’re hungry enough.
* Sisters can keep secrets.
* A good tattler prevents many catastrophes.
* You will never know everything.
* Dads and children are the only ones who believe that dads are smarter than moms.
* Any meal is good if it’s prepared by someone else.
* Being a child is easy, all you have to do is grow up.
* Being a parent is hard because you have to make sure your children grow up right.
* Boogers freeze in your nostrils in the wintertime.
* Moms smell good because they must constantly wash up messes made by the children.
* Babies smell good.
* Santa Claus shops at Wal-Mart.
* Chocolate is a good investment