Well at 3:29 p.m. I called the Dr. to get the results, and this is how it went. “Hello Dr. Office, Hello I am calling to get the results of my pregnancy test taken on Monday. What is you name Trish, please hold.” la la la la la la la la la. The test came back negative! Oh ok thanks bye click.” MY heart sank into my feet but apart of me knew that the answer gives should have been expected, so I don’t know why I always set myself up to fall.
I got on my cell and texted D and told him the expected news, no reply yet, I guess he is dealing with the results the best he can. I know we will talk about it over dinner tonight and he will be my comfort and support as always.
So here I am baby less, sad, confused and unable to focus at work. Why is it so easy for other and so hard for me, why are people who don’t want to have kids having them by the dozens and I can’t even get fertile? Why, why, why do I have to go through this pain every time. I should know better, maybe it was not meant to be, maybe I should just give up trying all together and look at other options.
And this too shall pass.