Reddit user CodeNameZed recently started an r/AskReddit thread asking the men of reddit to share their dream wedding ideas, and we weren't disappointed. The answers range from lavish, fit-for-a-king parties to simple courthouse affairs. And of course, a President Obama officiation. Read on for some of the best (and arguably worst) nuptial plans, ever.
1. Secret BBQ Marriage
"We all thought we were just going to a BBQ. We knew they were engaged, but they invited us to a BBQ. All their friends and family were there. It was summer, outside at their place. There was a pig roast and a band. An hour in they said they were getting married. Surprise to almost everyone. Didn't have to dress up, bring a gift, everyone had fun." —vtjake
2. Literally Endless Alcohol
"All the groomsmen and bridesmaids get butlers and maids for the week leading up to it. Each meal tops the last one in a never ending cascade of flavor. Literally endless alcohol. The kids have a kick ass playroom area where they can stay with paid nannies and have a blast. The wedding takes place in a mega gold palace, with a huge dance floor a balcony area that faces a fountain and hedge maze for walks in the crisp air, and where guests can make hanky panky since love is in air. Greeting every guest and having a conversation like the Duke of Cambridge or some shit. Wife looks bomb af and enjoys it 100%. Carriage ride away to an estate in the country side for the night." —RivaDaviaOficial
3. No More Than 20 Guests
"Forgive me for sounding too hallmark, but I would want a small wedding on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean lit only by the moonlight and some candles. No more than 20 really immediate friends and family, and mandatory mimosas for all.
But seriously, marriage should be about yourself and your loved one and I think over celebrating that special event takes away from that magic." —modernAgeTomorrow
4. Paragliding, Mountains, Huge Fires
"We'd have the wedding on a beach surrounded by cliffs or mountains. I'd be on one mountain, my wife on the other. All around, huge horns would sound as the sunset begins. Then giant speakers would blast Vangelis - Chariots of Fire, as we'd para-glide (tandem, neither of us know how to do that shit without dying) down to the beach where a whole bunch of people are waiting. Fuck me that would be glorious.
As we'd land people would cheer and applaud and chant our names and stuff like 'You're awesome!' and 'We love you!' and so on... Once all that is said and done, there'd be huge fires lit on the beach and a big party would start with good fucking food, none of that 'lobster with caviar and blahblah' bullshit, just like burritos and pizzas and a BBQ and some nice fucking salads and shit. Nothing fancy, just good. (No fish cause we both hate fish and don't want that smell anywhere near our wedding)." —rhowaldt
5. The Bare Minimum
"Court house $50 wedding. Wife didn't agree with me though." —Novazilla
6. Just The Important Stuff
"Zero attention on me except from my friends and close family members, she looks amazing and killin' it, ceremony is ten minutes long, my older brother crushes his Best Man speech and everyone is laugh-crying, my Dad tells me he's proud of me, my Mom can't talk because she's just a mess, and then we all get appropriately and responsibly drunk and dance and laugh and then go to bed exhausted and sleep for 48 straight hours. Then have sex. (Just me and my hypothetical bride, not everyone I just mentioned, you perverts.)" —stomptron4000
7. The Most Epic Of All Weddings
"On top of a Volcano with Obama officiating and Iron Maiden is the band" —PUTINsTiTs
8. Nothing Featured On TLC
"Courthouse ceremony, potluck for friends/family afterwards. Spring for a wedding cake because wedding cake is delicious, but otherwise, as low cost as possible. I have a certain addiction to wedding shows (Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, etc) and while I love them, they've made me realize that I don't want a fancy wedding. There's way too much pressure involved and I'm the type of guy that gets way too stressed out over everything to want to deal with that... Maybe if my husband-to-be were some kind of outrageous billionaire and $10k were nothing to him, then I wouldn't mind a more traditional wedding, but since I doubt that one is gonna happen, something more practical." —shiguywhy
9. Straight To The Point
"One where the price [is] < $1,000." —AtonalTimpanist
10. Paintball Wars Scheduled
"In the mountains, with paid nannies taking care of the kids, so they stay out of sight. Nanny cams everywhere there, so people can relax and just glance at their pads to know their children are OK.
Now that we removed the worrying factors, a bloody bacchanal, drinks available for everyone, with optional clothing, dress code removed, so I can just wear a toga made of one of comfortable thread and no underwear.
A playground for the grownups, with slides, swings and all the other things we no longer use because we have to be mature and stuff.
A treasure hunt, tag games, and paintball wars scheduled, and also, the place and the whole operation must be both cosplay and furry friendly, so everyone feels free to let lose their inner freak.
Also, a few tailors and seamstresses available to fix your clothing or costumes on the spot, and to throw together simple stuff for guests who desire something different to wear at the last minute." —Aedrian87
11. Small Reception, Gigantic Bar Tab
"15 minute ceremony at the courthouse and a small reception with.... a $15,000 bar tab. Small ceremony and large reception." —Kaennar
12. Exactly What It Sounds Like
"Pool party wedding." —rojisan
13. No Guests, Except Stitch
"Just the two of us alone at Disney. I want to get married in the morning and spend the day running around the park like children who are madly in love having the time of their lives. I want to get married on the beach at the Polynesian resort and have Stitch there.
I've never wanted anybody at my wedding. Ever since I was a kid it has just seemed weird to me. And going to other people's weddings has made me absolutely hate it, so long and boring. So I just want a 1 on 1 experience." —Antonio_Browns_Smile