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Worry Much?

Worry Much?

I believe that worry is a wasted emotion. I guess it’s not really an emotion … maybe it’s a state of being. Whatever it is I have spent far too much of my life worrying about things that may never happen, things that I can not change, andthings that are out of my control. Why?! Why do I do this to myself? Worrying about something has never actually made my life better, but still I worry. My favorite time to worry is late at night when I am laying next to my gently snoring husband. I mean, why rest when I can worry about things I can’t solve in the middle of the night?

When I became a mother, I was worried that my worries would increase, but oddly enough they have decreased or shall I say, they have become more focused. I’ve let go of much of my frivolous worrying. So what do I worry about now? Oh, the list is still long, but here are the top three.

1. Finances. Who doesn’t worry about this right? I’ve learned that I can do with out a lot as long as I know I am providing what my daughter needs.
2. My family. I worry about our safety, our health, our happiness. I want us to like and love each other. 
3. Me. Yup, I worry about me. I worry that I will sabotage our happiness. I’ve had a rocky life and although I’ve had moments of peace and joy, they have not been the norm. I tend to look for problems. I just can’t seem to trust that things can run smoothly. I’m working on it, but I worry that I am too flawed to be a good wife and a good mother. (I am not fishing for reassurance. I realize that I am not a bad person, I’m just being honest about these particular insecurities and the worry they cause me.)

Those are the biggies that I worry about on a regular basis, but I am happy to say that I’ve let go of so many other worries that used to occupy my thoughts and I do think it has something to do with becoming a mother. Here are the top three things I no longer cause me worry:

1. Looking like a fool. I don’t worry about this anymore because it is inevitable. I’ve left the house thinking I look good only to realize I have a big smear of poop on my pants. Whatever, I shrugged my shoulders and pretended it was mustard. 
2. Being perfect. I used to be big on perfectionism, which meant I spent a lot of time feeling like a failure. Not anymore! I’m too tired to try to be perfect and I just don’t care anymore, I’d rather be happy.
3. Comparing myself to others. I know some very successful people and it is easy to feel like I don’t measure up, but I finally understand that success looks different for everyone. 

I’m not alone, right? You worry, too ... right? What do you worry about late at night and what have you finally stopped worrying about?

Originally published on UnknownMami

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