I was taking the survey online for the Feb. issue, and had spent 20 minutes or so... and my internet lost it's connection to the page I was on. I had put alot of thought into the narrative parts, so would like to know if it even went through to your staff.
I found this particular issue more satisfying than others in a long time. Would love to give you the feedback you are looking for but didn't want to have to start from scratch again, if I didn't have to.
--Mary Jo Clairmont-Hansen
"I Knew I Could Never Give Away a Baby"
As an adoptive mother, Cate Nelson's story startled me on several levels. While I respect what every woman wants to do with their pregnancy, some of her feelings and opinions need to be challenged.
When my daughter's birthmother realized she was pregnant at 4 months by a one night stand, she knew she could not provide for my daughter. She was single, already had a toddler and was living in poverty. In a completely selfless act, she immediately made an adoption plan. The part of Cate's story that I would like to challenge is when she says "Children deserve mothers who choose them." This was particularly unnerving to me, because my daughter's birthmother was not "giving away" (another phrase I have issue with) my daughter because she was unwanted. By saying that, she is not only laying a huge amount of guilt onto women who choose adoption, she is also sending a horrible and untrue message to children who are adopted. My daughter was wanted deeply. She was wished for and prayed for by me my entire life. I could not give birth to her, I could not carry her in my body, but she is my daughter. And though her birthmother suffered sadness and grief in "giving her away" she feels strongly that she made the right choice. A selfless courageous choice. We have formed a deep and lasting bond and mutually decided to have an open adoption. She knows my daughter and has watched her grow for 8 years and will continue to have that option to be in her life forever. Their relationship is light. When they see each other they hug and giggle. My daughter knows that she grew in her birthmother's body, but she has much more of a bond with me. And never ever will she feel unwanted.